Do guys like dating female doctors

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  1. Top 8 reasons you should marry a female physician
  2. The Difficulties of Dating While Being a Female Doctor
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If she doesn't have any time to date, then what's the point? I think she'd find love dating where she is, around the people she spends 80 hr work weeks.


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I want a girl who has time for me, for us and where work is secondary and a means for some decent living but not her entire purpose in life. I don't care peoples jobs. I would date with a doctor Doctors are really sexy. You know like an angel in white dresses. The hours is an area of concern however. My first consulting firm I worked at out of uni I worked about 80 hours a week too, so I know what it's like.

It was very difficult to have a life outside of commuting and being in the office. But maybe there's ways to work around it effectively, I don't know.

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Hmm wold need to see more of her but in that nurse costume, she can operate on me anytime baha. Of course I would. It would just make the time we are tog8that much more special. A fellow workaholic who looks like that? I might be ready to give her a ring too. ConsultantIsBack Two professions that are always thinking about work don't mix. Girls often make statements as facts, that rarely coincide with real actual facts. Never have I felt intimidated by a girl who also happens to be a doctor.

They have no problem berating, or throwing their partner under the bus to be right. Often men who make it to very accomplished career positions have turned into very interesting people as well along the way. This is including the male doctors that I know.

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I wonder why such a vast majority of these girls who study to be doctors end up being devoid of any personality or interests other than work? Generalizations are a good thing. If someone carrying a baseball bat and yellow socks hits you on the head, and the next four people carrying a baseball bat and yellow socks also hits you on the head, would you duck when you see the next person carrying a baseball bat and yellow socks comes your way? I want someone to be nice, friendly, caring, feminine, and have interests outside of work. Not an ultra-aggressive, inflexible, time-strapped woman whose career offers me nothing else that I do not already have.

Mike H, are you not describing overt as opposed to covert narcissistic personality traits in action amongst female physicians? I call a spade a space. Yes, many female doctors are narccistic. Problem is, it does not stop there. Female doctors are also often ultra-aggressive, and extremely self-entitled. Can you do that for me right now? Can you just read it back to yourself? Perhaps you should be putting your efforts toward building a time machine, so you can return to the days when men dominated medicine because, clearly, that would make you more comfortable.

The above commentary makes me wonder when some of the above men were dating female physicians. Some of my friends married fellow MDs. Others, like me, married men in other professions. I think physicians, being competitive people at baseline, do tend to compete w each other.

The pets are less verbal. Yes, my husband does most of the cooking — he gets home first. I clean, because, after having the tar scared out of my by OR nurses, I have embraced sterile technique. But, we do what we do best. I have more fun going bowling or hiking or camping. Can I pull amazing facts out of the air? Well, I hardly think that would be beneficial to a marriage. Do I have hobbies — yup. Have I turned my husband on to them — yup.


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Has my husband turned me on to his — yup. Do I have a sense of humor — yes, a wicked one. But, there are a lot of good ones out there. If you have only found spoiled, arrogant, self-involved harridans, it begs certain questions. Where have you been finding these women? Somewhere along the lines, most of the female MDs turn into high-strung, hyper-competitive, self-absorbed people who pick every little detail as hills to die on. It truly is unfortunate to say, but the majority of female doctors I have met are spoiled, arrogant, and self-absorbed.

They have forgotten the basics of how to be nice to people, have interests outside of work, and be considerate. Try developing a personality instead. Its good to ve this platform on women doctors. Life is light and darkness and the same applies to women doctors. Because some are white and others are black due to their life from the beginning. Either from their homes,schools,community,etc. And all women are special from creation. Have been praying to marry a woman doctor and i have my aims of getting a doctor to marry.

Not for their firm.. But i prefer having a doctor as a wife. One might say no to that because of what he have seen or experienced. Thank you for your platform. We are all unique in our own way whether we are lawyers, doctors, dentisits, vets, dancers, singers, artist, office manager… to each is own.. Oh by the way, I love love to workout as well as Physical therapy was my pre med course and know all the muscles , insertion and action by heart….

I live in the UK and am happily married to a doctor, she is a consultant equiv. The article seemed to tie in well with my wife, although I realise not everyone is the same. Regarding some of the negative views expressed in the comments, I know many female doctors both through my wife and through my own work; whilst there are flaws in characters as we all have the negative traits are no more prevalent than in the general population.

I know male doctors too of course and the same applies. Hi, I want to know if there is a site where I can meet a doctor for a serious relationship that will lead to marriage. Being a male who married an Ent Surgeon. If I was to have my time again knowing everything I know now despite having 3 beautiful Daughters under the age of 7. I most certainly would not marry a female surgeon. There is a level of selfishness required to become a surgeon and initially this driven trait can be viewed as endearing, but eventually becomes isolating.

No amount of understanding for the Non medical partner can soften the blow of rejection felt by being in a relationship with a medical professional. I can easily name many more after 8 years of marriage and 14 in a relationship. Try and see it from a partners perspective when it comes to dealing with what drives you to be a Dr. Too many men out there think marrying s female doctor is great. My husband is a self employed work at home software engineer. I am a physician sub-specialist. He thanks his lucky stars every day that I married him 15 years ago.

He has access to a high six figure income, lots of free time and I have a flexible schedule. I am one of a handful of women in my group. My husband frequently is called upon to help these wives with home computing issues and other emergencies. Thank God I married an intelligent woman. They cannot do anything without asking permission- no shift switching, last minute interview dinners, section meetings. Our vacation picks take forever because each pick has to go through wifey. They go out together all the time and go on vacation and leave the MDs at home with the kids and the nanny.

They conspire to spend as much of their money as possible. I drive a Toyota, I am paying the bill. They drive Lexuses and Mercedes. So beware of the non-physician wife you seek. Her top priorities will turn to spending your money, Pilates and lunch dates, not you. I speak from experience. My priorities are family, work, exercise. I love my girlfriends but not more than my husband. She embodies each of the qualities in this artical with a grace and calmness that I admire.

Furthermore, her ability to multi task combined with that unique perspective on life is how she ensures a healthy balance with our relationship and life in general. She can handle the OR, trauma, or code, and still make it to dinner! Her low maintaince and spontinaity makes it easy for us to make time for the things that are important to us. As a guy its extremely difficult to find a women with these genuine qualities.

We are both very independent but share a mutual respect for how hard each of us can work. I loved this article- my stepmother is a rheumatologist and my dad used to run her practice… he retired when the practice was sold to a medical group. I know you have one. This article and the comments following it terrify me. I am a female going into my third year of medical school at 29, recently single after dating a fellow med student for a year and I know the next two years are going to be very demanding.

That leaves me at 31 most probably single and in residency. In terms of lifestyle and personality I see myself doing family medicine as I want a life beyond my career and balance is very important to me, so that puts me at 33 after res Canadian FM is 2yrs. The thing that terrifies me is I am going to find myself at this point where it seems like I have to advocate for reasons why men should date me because of my career, or be written off as a bad egg because of my age.

I was a little late into the med school game because I did take time to experience life a little, and I am thankful as I feel much more well rounded than a good portion of my peers for it. I am a very caring individual, and in fact have been told that I should be a little more selfish in my relationships, as I tend to invest a lot of myself into making sure those who are important to me know that I care, before I take care of my own needs. I do like the idea of the modern twist on fitting into the semi-traditional domestic role of the wife but also having the ability to pursue my passion of medicine in my career and I like the idea of having a partner who will work with me at this challenge to find balance in building a life together, perhaps having a family, and still have the luxury of working in medicine.

And how you define your life is up to YOU. I have written about this before https: I apologize true to my Canadian nature as saying I want a life beyond my career may have came off as me saying that if I were to do things another I would not have a life, nor would anyone who did it that way. Definitely not how I view the subject, and should have worded myself more along the lines of saying I think Family medicine would be the right choice for me as the structure of the lifestyle it would provide me would suit my ideal scenario for goals I have in my life outside of my career.

But thank you for the encouragement! Honestly, I would encourage you to take a second look. Female physicians fit the bill far more than the general population. It honestly should concern more female docs. It actually hurts, due to the unsavoury personality flaws it forms in so many female physicians. Rather, focus on being a nice, normal person and not an aggressive, task-oriented, hyper.

Downplay what you do, and let the guy know you want to focus on who they are as a person. Too many female physicians can only talk about their job. Those ones go out for eggs benny and mimosas every sunday, but have no hobbies. Let me say the same thing a different way: Suddenly that means all thin girls with a nice personality are your competition. Teachers, accountants, daycare supervisors, front desk secretaries are all your competition. And they have more time to dedicate towards their man.

Best not fall into the female physician trap. I hope this helps. What does that say? Suddenly there is a lot more competition in the Mrs department for a quality guy. The hyper-aggressive female physicians should take note. They miss that entirely. Men will marry nice girls. I just realized the original poster is a mike. I am not the same person. Michael is a fairly common first name. Thank you for your input, it was an enlightening read, although I am not sure if I would consider myself a hypergamous female, and more so would hope to find a nice guy I mesh well with.

I mean I definitely know some of my peers fit that bill, but not more than I have seen out there in the general population, and the fact that women are lying about what they do for a living when meeting a guy totally confuses me. Regardless I suppose all I can do is maintain the triad of qualities you listed and see what happens.

I think it is funny how all these girls think men want their career. For the children part, I thought ahead and froze my eggs so I can have children way up till my late 40s. Dates wise I am a nice girl if that makes sense. I am not one of those girls that expect the guy to be happy just because I showed up. I always offer to split the check, even invite guys over for food. They have exactly the same dating pool. You need to realise that this is a restriction that you are placing on yourself.

Women who make less also have more time due to easier career paths. They go to bars and clubs, they meet more guys, and so they have a larger dating pool. Does your practice allow you more time away? Or are you working 6x13 hour weeks? So you do plan on having kids. Have you considered what your plans for child care would be? Would you cut back on your practice? Do you talk to your dates about kids?

Or do they bug out before that? It's hard to tell what kind of warning signs someone is exhibiting. It might be a good idea to set yourself up on a double date and have a friend let you know if you're waving a red flag and don't know it. I personally am not a big fan of clubs or bars I only really go when my friends strong arm me in to going. I prefer to meet people at social gatherings that my friends throw.

My point was that because they go out more and meet more people, then their dating pool is larger. And I mentioned child care, because these are questions that he's going to be thinking. Along with the "will she want kids" bomb. And let's face it, up until now you've been married to your work, so the idea that you'll cut back suddenly won't occur to most people.

If I take a girl out and she offers to help with the check, it shows respect. It shows that she knows that I work for a living as well. It shows that I am not looking simply for a woman to keep as property but someone who understands there is a give and play in any relationship. Agreed, the offer is nice. I make a great deal more than my partner, and I generally pay for us. I occasionally find that she settles things when I'm not looking It's also pretty sweet though, and lets me know she doesn't take me for granted.

The societal expectation that the men out earn their partners might have something to do with it. That's going to severely limit your choices. A good looking guy in your general age range whose income is on the higher end of the scale is very likely to already be in a relationship. Even among guys who aren't in relationships, there are just fewer young people making really good money than in the past. All of that talk about the contracting middle class isn't a joke.

Lots of people have less. Judging their standard of character and datability by their income seems like a really good way to severely restrict your choices. Are you attractive, are you pleasant to be around, can you benefit someone else's life, are you hitting on guys? A rich woman can be as much of a gold digger as a poor woman. Most guys don't are about a woman's job or how much money she makes as long as he likes her. I am sure there is a lot more at play, both with context, the guys you are seeing, and maybe even you, but the biggest impression I got from reading your long question was that you sound very hung up on money and status.

Even if you are "willing" to date a man who does not make as much as you, you are still creating a situation where you are very concerned about money and social status right off the bat, before even getting to know the guy. I think it may be less your career choice, and more your approach to a person's worth being tied to such material things may be rubbing some of these guys the wrong way. While it is prudent to have potential financial issues and even compatibility issues that come from different "social scenes" coming together in the back of your mind, they should not be the end-all-be-all of navigating the dating world.

You are effectively casting such a highly-specific net, that your dating pool is effectively nil. Your choice is to either keep your high standards and accept the low yield and high risk of a type II error in partner selection, or see where you can broaden those filters and take a chance on more guys a bit different than what you are currently looking for. You need to find a guy in the medical field, and preferably one that works with you. All of the physicians I work with seem to date nurses or other physicians. It's great that you're a physician, but the power and prestige that come with that are things that women tend to like in men, not the other way around.

Some men consider dating a women who makes more money than them to be emasculating. But mostly it's not even that men dislike or are unappreciative of a hardworking girl. It just doesn't do anything for you in terms of sexual, relationship-type attraction. It's a neutral quality. Straight, masculine men are attracted to their opposite--femininity. They want cute, bubbly, and sweet women. It doesn't mean you can't be hardworking and disciplined, just that you'll need to be more than that to get the guys.

I feel like Female Doctors want alpha males. They want men who are confident, good looking, tall and have careers. Also Dating is a skill that you have not been working on. Those women who make less money have been developing their social skills. They understand dating better then you.

I'm not saying you can't find a good man that loves you; but the moment you put a number like 90k a year or college educated; you are limiting yourself heavily. You really need to look at yourself in the mirror and be honest with what you are looking for; because I think you are lying to yourself.

You and other women mistake incompatability and disinterest as intimidation. It must be a way for you to tell yourself that it's them and not you. There are red flags that most guys pick up and know their time and rresources will be better spent elsewhere. You sound like a gold digger - Again, your post is heavy on financial status and class.

Yeah you earn more than most men, but you give off the impression that their wallet is just as important as their personality. Guys want a girl that looks good, is sexually compatible, and takes care of them.

Top 8 reasons you should marry a female physician

We hunt for food, you nurture us and show us love. You're trying to attract bears with more bears instead of honey. Most guys don't care about money. We just want to fight, fuck and eat. The reason we bust our asses at work is to attract women. Now you come along trying to sell us on something that isn't very important. Race and background - Probably will get me downvotes due to controversy.

You said you were Asian American. Is your preference white guys? Again just an assumption, but I've noticed Asian American women primarily date white guys. If so your dating pool just got much smaller with more competition. Men with specific physical traits that make over k a year are few and most often their money and status gives them a lot of options. You have to re - evaluate your options. You can stick to your guns and hopefully get what you want, or concentrate more on personality and compatability.

It sounds like you are asking men to look beyond gender norms to be attracted to you. At the same time you feel entitled to a traditionally attractive male with high income, education, or career aspirations. Consider looking for successful men that are older than you or lower your standards for similarly aged men. Maybe that will require looking outside of your social circle which can provide some nice perspective on life.

You waited too long. Your 20's are your best most fertile most attractive years. You spent those years "forming casual relationships nothing really with a future" while also getting your education. Which is cool great, but your male classmates have a very blatant edge on the dating market when they have the same degree and are older. You also need to lower your standards a lot.

Like a lot a lot. I'm not saying to settle for the first bum that winks at you and asks for some change but if you're trying to find someone around the same economic class as you you're gonna have a bad time. I want you to understand what I'm saying. You have a 33 year old but he's a male who has the same degree and is making the same amount of money as you, explain to me why he would date a woman in her 30's when there are much more attractive 24 year olds that are falling from the rafters to get to him?

I'm not trying to put you down or insult you, but him choosing an older woman when there are clearly much better options is insane. Unfortunately, you have a few things working against you, but none of them insurmountable. We can address each one separately. If the issue is that you are a doctor and make a lot of money, then I would simply say that you hide that fact until you get to know someone better.

You don't have to lie, just don't advertise it. When asked you simply say "I do alright" or "I work in health care. What would be more of a problem is if you were unwilling to date anyone who didn't make similar amounts to you. Certainly, having the same social class background is generally a good idea, but having a minimum income number is a very bad idea. Many people value things greater than money, and for those people the fact you make a lot is nice, but not that big a deal. Hell, if your real issue is to start a family, I would actually look for a guy with great parenting skills yet does not have an amazing job and thus would be willing to give it up to be a stay at home dad.

If the issue is your age, you have a few options. First, understand that dating at 33 is harder than 23, even for people who aren't doctors. Your standards need to change to reflect changes in people around your age. You need to consider dating a wider age range maybe , dating people who have been married before divorced or widowers , or people who already have kids either visitation, joint custody, or single dads.

If you don't, you are going to increasingly find less and less potential partners. If the issue is that you don't have a lot of serious relationship experience, all you can do is get started dating. This can only come from actually being in serious relationships and learning how to make them work or what you can't make work , so you need to just keep trying. Even if a guy isn't your perfect ideal, a serious relationship with him might still work out or at least be a good experience.

If you issue is exposure not meeting enough guys , then just try new things. You are doing online dating which can help, but look at other avenues. Perhaps your friends, family members, or coworkers or their significant others know someone single that they could set you up with. Or perhaps there are "Singles' Night" for professionals in your community.

Don't rule out any such possibilities until you at least try them. In the end, give it time. If you keep making a solid effort and devoting time to it, eventually things will begin to click. Personality and looks are a mans key concerns. I don't find your job intimidating one bit. I find your overt humble brag a little much to handle.

If you are looking for men in your same socioeconomic situation this may be difficult. For example, I work in investments and securities and pull well into six figures. If I were still single I would be looking at women in their mid-twenties. The paycheck isn't really what is attractive to guys at least it's not to me , its the independence and maturity on your part that comes with it. There are men out there that really enjoy independent women who can "pull their own weight" so to speak.

I, and many other men, would find your ability to be an equal member of a two person team to be the best part of this, because you are financially strong, are well educated, good work ethic so probably reliable, etc. My bf's friend is married to a female doctor and she makes more than him. Every man is different. If you're going to ask for advice from men, why does it matter where it comes from?

Unless you're looking for answers only from people that will tell you what you want to hear. No offense meant genuinely, but it seems that you're looking exclusively for people that can easily get younger and hotter. It's an uncomfortable truth, but there are a lot of those in this world. This might be oversimplifying it, but you think like how a man would think. Why would a successful virile man want to date essentially another man? Leaving fora while traditional gender roles you might consider the following: Those three points explain why your dating pool is narrow.

You are extremely picky while men in your position aren't. This is to large extent self-inflicted. Now going back to gender roles: So not only you are in less desirable group, you also have extremely picky requirements. You seem to be dismissive when it comes to successful doctor marrying a young school teacher but you wouldn't consider marrying young guy at the beginning of his career.

It's not only that your dating pool is naturally smaller it is because of age but mainly it's your own requirements which make it minuscule. I hate the status game. It's a turn off. I hate such attitude. Honestly, this whole post, including your responses show just how inexperienced you really are about dating, relationships and especially marriage.

If you're approaching dating like a business deal where you negotiate your worth in the relationship with your income and status, you're only going to end up coming off boring and rigid. There are younger women out there that are a lot less rigid and yet make enough money to support themselves.

Why would a guy choose to date you over them? That is a serious question by the way. What do you bring to a relationship that is fun and genuinely makes you an interesting person? Your career sure as he'll isn't interesting at all.


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The kind of men you are looking to date are the kind of men that have so many options that they will genuinely be interested in finding out if you have outstanding interesting qualities. So what are yours? Now i have to combine those numbers with the likelihood that someone will be attracted to me as well. You can easily see when you think about it in a formulaic manner, your seemingly small limitations you are placing are dramatically limiting your odds. In other harsher words: You are being overly selective.

Unless you are a bombshell and you're not baby crazy men will suspect you are, even if you're not mid 30's dating is a gauntlet to begin with. I read through the thread real quick, it is very interesting. I can tell you would prefer a partner that has a similar income to you, similarly career focused, and similar life goals. Is that too much to ask? However, you are in your early 30s and have a demanding career. A LOT of the guys you are looking for are not looking for you. The guys you want typically want someone attractive and fun read: This is commonly what guys seek out, they typically aren't looking for someone who can provide for a family and who doesn't have much free time due to a career.

One of your comments said you live in an affluent area and don't come across guys that don't make much money. Get out of your bubble! I don't care where you live, not everyone around you is wealthy. Take an art class or yoga, join a meetup group, etc to find other men who share your interests but not necessarily your socioeconomic class. Truthfully, is it impossible to find the type of guy you want?

No, but it will be difficult and will probably get harder the older you get. Men don't look care too much about their partners income or their careers. That's not what attracts them. If you really need a guy to make close to what you make, you're going to have to take a lower paying job. Also worth noting, people in their 20s and early 30s got fucked by the economy I was on top of a female Dr.

I consider myself an astute guy, and while I've never dated an MD I've been involved with a couple women who had PhD's. Those relationships had their own merits and conflicts and while I tend to enjoy dating women who are very clever in both those cases it was somewhat intimidating. Questions about the balance of intelligence pop up here now and then and there are always a few guys who are upfront about their preference to be or feel like they are the smarter one in the relationship.

Could be you're encountering people with this preference? Another possibility, and this is just speculation, I understand young doctors have to work pretty intense schedules. Could it be they're thinking you just won't be around much? The time crunches, no sex because their tired. Having to constantly schedule time, also the attitude the fem doctors I've met seem to have this stupid complex that their better than others.

The Difficulties of Dating While Being a Female Doctor

As someone else said, that puts you well behind the curve. The men you're talking about passed on women their own age because the younger women are more at the same stage of life. You may need to broaden your ideas of what you want in a man. Also, you need to make a real effort to get out and meet more men, either online or through activities you're interested in.

Figure that if 1 guy in meets your standards you have to meet men to have 3 good candidates. I have a good friend who was in exactly your position- doctor just out of residency and single. She married a guy she met on her soccer team. He just happened to have an Ivy League degree and, while probably not rich, was doing interesting stuff that eventually developed into a good sized business.

That was probably 28 years ago and they're still happily married. Get involved in your community rather than specifically looking for men and you'll end up rubbing shoulders with men who have their act together as well. It sounds like you are very high maintenance.

Three Female Doctors Explain How To Get Physical With A Physician - MTV

I wouldn't feel intimidated by you, but I would feel like you think I am inferior to you if I didn't make more money than you. Disregarding anything about status and money, it's just easier to form a relationship when you're younger. I would, for example, much rather date a younger woman who was more available to me not working the hours doctors work and the stress that comes with it than someone whose life I would fit into and makes a ton of money in a very difficult career, so to speak.

You may have had a better chance finding a meaningful relationship when you were younger but chose a career over that. Sometimes, you can't have everything you want. That said, don't go all doom and gloom. Just because some men like a certain type of women doesn't mean all men do. You can find someone who will make you happy and that you will make happy. Stay positive and keep trying. I wonder why you think that a guy needs to be in the same economic class as you. Money must mean a lot more to you than you think it does. Honestly, I quit my "big important banker" job and work for a state agency making about 30k a year.

Because money isn't important. I would totes date a doctor. I'm just a regular dude interested being happy and engaging in things that interest me other than money. Maybe it's just me, but if I were making in the k range I would look for a more I'd want someone college educated and all, but it just doesn't make sense to have two partners both charging after a difficult, time-consuming career.

If I'm busting my balls to earn more than enough money for a family, I'd rather have a partner more focused on the domestic side of things. If I were less successful, I might be more interested in a more ambitious woman, so I'd take care of more things around the house. As others said, you are pretty focused on income wealth. No matter the gender it can strain relationships to have a large income disparity. Lots of good things already mentioned here. Just some advice that hasn't already been mentioned: Family medicine is not really that high up on the average income compared to the typical white collar worker.

Discounted cash flows are a bitch. Look for software engineers. They're upper class, respect intelligence and like career-oriented women, and suffer from major gender disparity the other way. I think I'm in the dating pool you are considering. I'm 32, sorted in my career, own a house, etc. I currently have a girlfriend, she is I'm pretty close to my peak.

I've got maybe another 5 years of being at my peak of fitness and attractiveness. My wealth is only going to increase although I now work part time to focus on things that matter to me. While its good that you have sorted your life out, you have to understand that this doesn't mean a lot to someone in my position. What I'm more interested in is compatibility, and like some other posters have mentioned, physical compatibility is part of this.

When it comes to a career, I care about someone's attitude and their potential. The woman I'm seeing at the moment is an aspiring author. Her writing is good, things might work out for her, or they might not. The tl;dr here is that I do value youth, beauty, and potential more than things like success and earning potential.

I have enough success to go around. The people you should if I may be so bold be looking at, are men that value success and earning potential. I'm not sure what kind of guy this would be, as I haven't really considered beyond what I want. There's lots of guys out there that would jump at dating a well earning female doctor that isn't overly old You need to remember that these guys are generally in their physical prime, and have a very wide choice of partners. Remember what dating was like when you were 21?

Want to add to the discussion?

This is what it is like for the guys you are looking for, except they also have the fat paycheck. Nothing to do with redpill, you just want us to coddle and conform you. It's sad that you cant and wont handle the truth. So our ages are close. You are financially stable. So unless you are not mentally stable, there is no reason you shouldnt be able to find someone to date.

But yeah money won't make you more awesome magically. Except if you are looking for a sugar mammay type of relationship. You're already at a disadvantage. Guys don't care so much about a woman's career success as a woman would care about a man's career success.