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- Your Online Dating Profile: Using The Right Language - Adam GiladAdam Gilad
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When creating an online profile and presenting the best version of yourself online, you must remember: Never project Survival Weaknesses.
We have all been beaten up by life. I myself spent years with someone who, even after I was out of the relationship, had convinced me that I was ugly, stupid and a failure in life.
Fortunately, this is where the beating up stops for you — right here and right now. Make a promise to yourself: I will not include any self-denigration in my profile. It is also fine once you have established your authority and masculinity in person but it does not belong in your profile at all.
Also, take out any words that are qualifiers: You no longer hope, my friend, you plan. Be forthright, be positive and be optimistic about your future. You are creating a context of strength in your profile. Later, when you start interacting with a woman, you can offer alluring vulnerabilities, but never up front. It is okay and you are forgiven. In fact, there would have been something wrong with you if you preferred grammar at age 16!
How does one strike the popular pose? These postures are associated with dominance and social standing in a given hierarchy, she explains. They give people the appearance of having resources, the ability to acquire more and the willingness to share them, which are all very attractive traits. Past studies have shown that humans are remarkably good at picking up on non-verbal cues and making snap judgments, Vacharkulksemsuk notes.
In the new study, published today in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences , Vacharkulksemsuk and her colleagues examined videos of speed-dates from a event at Northwestern University. The dates alternately paired 12 men and 12 women for 4 minutes at a time.
Expat dating: Online dating guide for expats
The participants also reported whether they would pursue future romantic pursuits with any of their dates. Each video was also graded by experts who were unaware of the experiment's goals but trained to track and keep a score card of when daters exhibited behaviors linked to attraction, such as laughing, smiling and nodding. Two profiles were created for each person in the experiment, one in which they appeared with expansive open postures and one with contacted postures.
Names, ages and other details were kept identical. Each was paid 40 cents to complete a short attractiveness survey based on one of 12 photo collages of the contracted and expanded profile images of the same people.
Your Online Dating Profile: Using The Right Language - Adam GiladAdam Gilad
When e-commerce director Alec Shaw Stewart, 54, joined a dating site for the first time many years ago, he made a classic newbie mistake. Keen to convey he was a bright-eyed male with real get-up-and-go, he used the word "active" in the title of his dating profile. But I got all sorts of abuse.
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To them it was code for 'highly promiscuous'. The same goes for the word 'fun'.
1 Sunday Night Fever
Appearance is another minefield. But in web-speak "curvaceous" quite simply means "fat". Men who choose harmless words like "stocky" or "well built" are also unwittingly awarding themselves extra layers of blubber. Experienced internet dater Andrew Gibson, 47, considers himself an expert at recognising the red flags.