- Blowing Hot And Cold (The Psychology Behind The Dating Game)
- Men are a LOT like CATS… (this is bizarre, and true)
- He Blows Hot and Cold? Here's How to Get Him To COMMIT
- The Dating Game of Hot and Cold
This information is invaluable and should guide your personal dating strategy. Common conventional dating advice highlights this strategy as emotionally immature. It certainly may be. However, this strategy has long been used as a tool of seduction to increase attraction and desire. I have experienced this first hand and can sympathize with my clients about how frustrating it is — that is until you take your emotions out of the equation.
This tool is employed by someone whose character is more of a Coquette who is trying to frustrate you on purpose and only offers a glimmer of hope for happiness, pleasure and perhaps power. This date wants you to chase him or her and it is this game that he or she enjoys immensely.
If you know that your date wants you to chase them AND you can begin to separate your emotions from the situation, you will realize that there are two potential reasons for your dates behavior: He or she is sophisticated enough to do this on purpose OR he does not know what he wants. Date other people and do not chase him or her.
If he or she is simply confused or scared your absence will likely invite them to stop playing games and ask you what is going on. This is especially important for women as we tend to fall for these games more often than not.
Blowing Hot And Cold (The Psychology Behind The Dating Game)
If you stop pursuing and he comes around, it is okay to confront the behavior. Any sign of defensiveness rather than an apology should give you the data you need to know that this person is not looking for a serious relationship. Once you have that data, you may choose whether to continue to enjoy the game playing or move on.
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Many of my clients know that I spend much of my time dancing. It is not unheard of in the Latin dance community for men to use their dance skills to try to pick up women. You do not find them speaking to many other people and there is usually a ton of chemistry exuded in the beginning. Once I figured out that he was playing, I cut out my emotions from our interactions.
That is essentially the switch women feel. This is usually the number one reason a man will pull away or withdraw from a relationship. Men deal with stress and difficulties differently than most women. Men typically prefer to retreat and work things out internally rather than talking about it and seeking others out for comfort. The best thing you can do is just do nothing.
Give him the space he needs and just focus on your own life. Men are not in a headspace to be compassionate and loving when they are stressed and off balance and it will be very hard for you not to take his behavior personally. But only if you respect his need for space! This is a huge mistake most women make. So he settles into a more comfortable routine, and that often means he is slightly less engaged in the relationship.
Men are a LOT like CATS… (this is bizarre, and true)
No one wants this to be the truth. At the root of his hot and cold behavior is a whopping dose of uncertainty. The switch you feel in this scenario is really just him testing the waters to see if he wants to dive in. Your guy has been playing the hot and cold game.
- If you want to get him to COMMIT, do this…;
- Is your date playing games?;
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- He Blows Hot and Cold? Here’s How to Get Him To COMMIT.
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First things first, take an honest look at the relationship and try to figure out the reason for his behavior. It will most likely be due to one of the three reasons listed above.
He Blows Hot and Cold? Here's How to Get Him To COMMIT
No matter what the reason, the worst possible thing to do is chase after him. This instinct is activated by fear and will come across as desperate and needy. Another mistake is to retaliate and act cold toward him.
Just go with it. In this case, stop focusing on the relationship so much and instead focus on yourself and on enjoying your life and bring that positive energy into the relationship. In this case, the best thing you can do is move on. There is no point in degrading yourself trying to win him over and get him to like you. Instead of seeing this as a loss, see it as a win. I hope this article helped you better understand why men can run hot and cold.
Before you decide what to do next, you need to know about the two defining moments in a relationship that will determine if it lasts or if you get your heart broken.
The Dating Game of Hot and Cold
The next thing most women are unaware of is what actually inspires a man to commit for life. Do you know the answer? If not, you need to read this article right now: The 1 Things Men Desire in a Woman. Is He Losing Interest? Sign up for our free newsletter and get a free chapter of our book,"He's Not That Complicated".
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