- The No Contact Rule: A Powerful Strategy That Will Work On Your Ex
- 5 Essential Things You Must Do After No Contact (If You Really Want Your Ex Back)
- Why Use No Contact?
If you have no intention of getting back together with him, then you should leave him alone. Yes, if you are still communicating with your ex, it is sensible to let them know that you need to take some time out, to gather your thoughts. Remember, no contact is all about you and is not a means of punishing your ex. If you are not in contact, there is no need to let them know, as it will have no immediate impact on them.
My ex boyfriend and I work in the same office and I am in the no contact period. I will have to see him every day. I am avoiding him completely. Is there anything in particular that I should keep in mind? You must maintain a professional attitude at all times. The last thing you need is to lose your job. Ideally, don't discuss him, or what he did, with any of your work colleagues and never, ever, discuss personal matters during working hours.
Focus solely on your work. This may also be the impetus you need to look for a new job or undertake training, with career advancement in mind. My ex-boyfriend and I go to the same school, and I'm trying the no-contact rule with him. Will he come back? You don't say how old you are, but if you are still in school, then you really shouldn't be dwelling on this.
Dating is a process of trial and error. It helps you discover which character traits you like and which you don't. You will have dates with other boys and also experience more breakups. It is all part of life. With regards no contact, it will be difficult as you are likely to see him in school. You should also not be doing this because you think it will get him back. No contact is all about helping you get through the breakup. If you are hurting, minimise contact with your ex and hold your head up high if he walks past.
Focus on your studies, your family, and friends. Don't dwell on the past. You have a great future ahead of you. Sign in or sign up and post using a HubPages Network account. Comments are not for promoting your articles or other sites. I had a crush with an English teacher who was lovely and endearingto me. Then he asked me twice to hAng out but i wasnt available and messed up everything. He then gave me the cold shoulder, belittling me and showing in class some emojis I'd sent him, saying i was his spam.
He flirted with every silly girl till I stopped attending with some nice pretexts. Then I snidely led him to believe I'd send him more photos, but finished by asking him to not repeat his ill-bred performance because it showed he didn't know whom he was dealing with a dignified lady. He got furious and cut off our communication. I said farewell, but about a month later tried to be more conciliatory without results. So now I'm applying the No Contact with great suffering but strictly.
I realize he is a jerk but i still like him a lot. Each day is excruciating to get by during the start of the no contact rule. It is painful as you try not to get in touch with them. I'm so hurt because we used to talk to each other everyday and sharing our day and problems, and all of a sudden it all stopped. Felt like silence and emptiness was bigger than anything else. My ex ask for some space so i helped her move out i had rent a car to move her things in the new apartment. I helped her fix the apartment even gave her cash to pay the rent cause she did had no money one of our big problems.
Our relationship was going trough rough stages. We were busy with building a house and i am an engineer so i am busy finishing all plans etc. So the only contact we have is for that i got like 30 days without talking to her i am applying the no contact rule. But will it help to get her back i have been doing great working on myself. Yeah this is spot on. Many people make the mistake of making exceptions for the no contact rule. Remember, no contact means absolutely no contact.
Doesn't matter if they really want to talk to you, don't give in! My girlfriend on 1. We are all shocked. She was even calling me "babe" the night before in texts. Anyways, she asked me to let her go, we cried in each other's arms for ten minutes as we hugged goodbye, and she said she still loved me and was heartbroken to break it off. I did contact her sister and brother in law to tell them how much I love and appreciate their acceptance of me and have written a goodbye letter to her mom that I have not yet sent as I did not get a chance to say it in person.
I have not contacted her and plan on not for 30 days, but in all honesty I feel entitled to at least give her another chance to reconsider. I realize that I am probably just in the throws of accepting a dying relationship. Is it really a bad idea to send a goodbye to her family? Her brother in law wants to meet for a beer. Is that also breaking the no contact rule?
I had a drawn out breakup but the communication ceased 2 weeks ago. I found out he was going through a divorce that ended 5 months into our relationship. We had been together for 17 months. Even though we had already broken up when I found out, we were trying to be friends and I confronted him. I was civilized on my end and only wanted an explanation. He blew up and asked that I never contact him again nor reached out to him at all. Prior to this he explained he may have a serious medical issue.
What would you suggest? I was in a relationship with my best friend for two years. We got engaged four months ago. He lives in the United States and I live in Canada. I saw him every weekend with my two children. We wanted to get married so that I could live there and not have to travel. Our relationship got strained for various reasons and he ended it. Neither of us cheated and he knows me to be a very loyal and loving person. We did everything together. I have started no contact as of one week ago.
I unfollowed him and his family and his friends on Facebook. He has sent three separate texts. The second was asking for my address I thought because he was sending me my stuff back. So I simply replied with the address. I replied with a simple thumbs up emoji. Why does he send me things? Hey i finished the no contact rule. A week ago i got a call from my ex i didnt know it was him as for i didnt know the number he then said something i couldnt make out , he changed the tone of his voice i thought it was creepy and said wrong number.
I then made my number private and called back the next day well it was his work number and he picked up.
The No Contact Rule: A Powerful Strategy That Will Work On Your Ex
Im at the nxt step where i must send him a letter or text after no contact but im scared she will find it. And how do i ask him to go drink coffee with me while they always together. Do you know why your boyfriend wants to break up with you? Did you talk this through with him? If he is refusing to see you, then there is little you can do.
Yes, do not contact him and follow the no contact rules. I initially stooped contacting him for almost one month. Stop contacting him again. Hello, I used the no contact rule with an ex-boyfriend and it worked perfectly. We went our separate ways for a while, which allowed me to heel he broke up with me and later got back in touch and now we're actually good friends.
But the thing is, I was never head over heels in love with the aforementioned boyfriend, which I think made it a lot easier in the end. But how about when you need closure from someone whom you weren't actually in a relationship with? Last year, I fell in love with this guy who was also interested in me, but not in that same way he had a girlfriend at the time, in a sort of open relationship. There was A LOT of flirting and I know I shouldn't have gotten involved with him, but I was too weak to resist it and we were together a few times.
He eventually broke up with his girlfriend, but because he met someone else, which shattered my heart. He is now in a loving exclusive relationship and, although we kept in touch, nothing physical ever happened again. The whole thing started over a year ago and I am still obsessed with him and still feel attracted to him when we meet which is very rare.
I had hopes we could still be friends, since I enjoy talking to him and he's already helped me when I needed it. He also never broke contact, which I believe shows he wants to stay friends too. But I still get anxious when waiting for a reply from him and really nervous if I actually meet him in person, so I still need closure.
I didn't write for two months one time and one month another time and still all the same feelings came back in exactly the same way when contact was restored either by him or by me. I don't want him to disappear from my life, but I still don't know how to deal with his presence. Thank you for this article. I am currently going through this heartbreak, and needed this guidance. I follow no contact rule?? I want to talk to my ex for closure. I broke up with him because his behaviour was unacceptable but then he went to jail. I have so many questions about what happened the weekend leading up to our break up which also resulted in him landing himself in prison and I have reason to believe he may have cheated on me during this time but I'm unsure.
I loved him, we were supposed to get married but since he went to prison 6 weeks ago I have blocked all contact from him and his family because I needed time to process. Now I feel like I miss him and I cant imagine me moving on with someone new but he has created so many problems and as I said I have no idea if he has been faithful. If he has then part of me feels we could work through things, but I don't know if his brother has been getting women to write to him while hes been in jail to ease the heartbreak of us finishing.
I'm really confused because I could contact him and he could be angry at me or even might have met someone else or I could drag myself back into what felt like it was becoming an abusive relationship. This guy was really sweet but bombarded me from the start. I got to liking him and feeling secure with him and it felt wonderful. All the sudden he became insecure, dropped the ball and behaved indifferent. This was over the course of just 14 days. I decided to end what ever this was He did bring me hope and joy that life is worth living to the fullest every day. The connection felt real but too fast too unbearably much for me.
I've been executing the "no contact rule" for days now. My ex made it very clear that she did not want to talk to me again, and she has made no effort to do so, yet. I haven't contacted her yet, aswell as deleted her from all forms of social media, if she does not text me first, which I doubt she will, how long should I wait to talk to her? Hi, I was in a long distance relationship for about 8 years, we were able to see each other a couple times a year and the rest of the time we would skype to be together. We had a fight during our conversation in viber message a couple days ago, and well, I am not sure if we broke up, but we have not been talking to each other.
I had planned a travel to go see him and I do not know if I still should go to see him. Maybe talk to each other in person, I do not know. My situation is quite the opposite. My friend has confessed feelings he has harboured for quite some time. I unfortunately do not feel the same way and proceeded to tell him wirh as much tact. I hoped to do the no contact as it has worked for me in numerous occassions but also hoped not to lose them as a friend. I however did not initiate contact for 2months. When he did though he wanted to check whether I felt any different as he believed I should give him a chance.
I stated nothing has changed abd honestly explained it had nothing to do with him personally but I harboured no romantic feelings. I suggested that it would be easier not to be friends as he kept on hoping to stick around and change my mind. I proceeded to end the friendship on this grounds but he is determined more than ever to stay in my life. He talks with my parents often which annoys me now. He even surprised me on my birthday and proceeded to behave atrociously towards my company despite having said I wasn't planning any party.
I have since then explained how that was uncalled for and reiterated my disinterest further to remain friends. He seems determined even more than before. I have a partner now but as I don't flaunt this, his continued presence is a bother. How do I have a clean break from thus person? Talking to your ex can also cause you to continue to be tied emotionally to someone who was not connected to you. Taking time to move on, find yourself, and begin healing is definitely needed. Reaching out, even years have passed, can cause you to falsely romanticize the person that was the conductor of your pain.
The past is the past for a reason. Thanks for your comment. It's difficult to respond specifically without knowing you and your ex. My best advice would be to wait until making further contact. You do need to work on yourself and why you feel so insecure in your relationship. If you address this, then you will probably find that your mood increases also. While we all want to feel needed and loved, it is human nature to feel suffocated by someone who is needy. After that I'd only reply to her texts and that was the 1st week till I realized that she needed space.
She was really really angry because the last month of our relationship I was almost abusing her, taking her for granted, sometimes being jealous on the things that didn't even existed - to cut things short I was at my worst and a lot of new things were happening in my life in a short period of time. We were only together for 4 months but it was very intense. We've met each other whole families and introduced each other to our friends for the first time, which was especially big for her. Also she never brought any boy home or even made a habit of him sleeping over which were the normal things.
If we exclude this fights that we had, we were really happy. Had an amazing chemistry and overall compatibility as human beings. Of course she never opened up to anyone like she did to me and vice versa. At first she was cold and I was weak trying to stay strong but when we got to her house to pick up my stuff and say goodbye to everyone she started crying and basically fell to pieces with the last words: I don't believe this the end of us And then got her text on 6th August. She wanted to see me. In the evening I called and we agreed I'd come in 2 weeks 20th August because of our schedule.
Day after my bus came earlier and I texted her if she could meet me for a quick talk before her work cause the bus station is near her workplace. We talked lightly, laughed, were positive, although she was more nervous and hugged me out of the blue and ran away to work and on the last step she turned to see if I was still there which I was. That was the last contact on 7th August. Now my question is: Because on some other places I've seen advice like don't do the full NC if you did it on and off before. So 20th August would be a month and some change of our break up, or 20 days from real cutoff.
Now I know that I've been weak before and after the breakup and stupid and I feel sorry for her like a person because she's a good girl, hardworking and caring for everyone. She didn't deserve that kind of behavior, but also I'm aware what I've done and my mind is clearer than ever and I'm having these great happy changes exclusively because of me - because I don't want to be cranky or bad-tempered like I sometimes was in the past. And that's a big step for me. I've really opened up to people, started exercising meditating, laughing more and of course I know that I don't need anyone to make my life full.
It would only be a shame because we have a chance for making it even more beautiful together if we'd give it a shot one more time. But also I'm prepared for any outcome. I see both paths I can take and I'm totally fine with both of them. I only want this to have an ending, so that's my only confusion.
You've approached this in a mature way and attempted to resolve your differences before breaking up. Although no contact is hard, it becomes less painful in the long run. The alternative is to keep hoping for a reconciliation and to jump every time your ex clicks his fingers. You must continue to respect yourself and establish boundaries. Better to find out now than later, when you are married and have a young family.
You have an exciting time ahead with med school. Focus on that and the opportunities that it will give you. Please don't fret about being in your 30's. You are still a spring chicken and have plenty of time to find true love. My instinct tells me that your ex will soon realize that the grass isn't greener on the other side and may want to come back. You need to think long and hard about whether he is the right man for you, and if you want him back in your life.
Remember, success is the greatest form of revenge. Focus on creating the best you and the best life that you possibly can.
5 Essential Things You Must Do After No Contact (If You Really Want Your Ex Back)
I'm so glad I came across your page today. I believe you given some really solid advice and I'm definitely going through a difficult time. My ex and I have been broken up for 5 days after being together for 9 years. We lived together for 5 yrs until last September when he got a job promotion and took a job out of state. I was in the process of finishing my degree and we agreed it would be best if I stayed. I decided to apply to med school and was accepted in a different state where our house is and where he was stationed. We agreed I go and that we would make things work. We were fine the first three months with me doing all the traveling to see him.
He made the excuse often that he doesn't get two days off in a row to travel and I'm 7 hours away. I felt him become distant in April but he also told me that he was ready for marriage. We agreed that It would be best that he move where I am at until I finish school and I thought we were all set. I went to visit him in May to find he now had a roommate and he had removed my photos from the living room. He brushed me off when I asked if he was seeing someone and had them at our home.
While I was home I found out he has been hanging with a new female coworker after work and they go drinking and clubbing. He had never mentioned her before and felt that our introduction while I was home was appropriate. She was overly flirtatious with him in front of me and he didn't stop it.
- When And Why To Use The No Contact Rule When Dating.
- Why Do I Need Dating Boundaries??
- The Male Mind During The No Contact Rule- What Is He Thinking?.
- dating site for nerds and geeks?
I became upset and said we should end things. He told me that I was the only person for him and he wants to be together forever and asked for another chance. I gave in and returned to school. He became unavailable not answering calls and for weeks we went back and forth about his consistency and effort. We went on vacation and when he returned home disappeared again. Finally when I demanded this week that he respect me and put in effort my calling he said that he wanted to breakup because this relationship and my nagging about his effort is stressing him out and causing us both unhappiness.
I explained that if we break up it's for good and to think it through. He said he is sure he wants to break up and live his life and he deserves to be happy. He said he will always love me and wants to remain friends. No contact has been really hard and I'm in a lot of pain as we are in our 30s and I thought we were headed towards a long future together. Shortest version of a loooong story. We met in and immediately hit it off. She moved to me in '92 for a year, didn't like my town and she moved back.
I moved to her in '94 until '96 when we broke up. We both had young children, so the back and forth was killer. The odds were against us and we both knew it. We did have a serious issue along the way that never really got resolved. I apologized deeply for it, but truly there was plenty of blame to go around. I maintained some contact with her child from afar since I'd practically grown up with him. Fast forward to when she contacted me out of the blue. I'd healed at that point. We spent about 6 months together long distance as we had before. We kind of just stopped doing it.
I don't really remember why. I was disappointed, but not deeply hurt. Fast forward to She contacted me again. We began spending serious time in We discussed the future. Most of our logistic issues were behind us. Our kids are adults now. We talked about a future and planned how to best spend it. We agreed that her moving here was the best option. We laid out retirement plans since it's only now 5 - 7 years away. We discussed our "big" issue from 25 years ago. She said she'd gotten over it and wanted to spend the rest of her life with me.
We got engaged last Xmas eve. We haven't had much time together, VERY opposite schedules but constantly discussed it realizing that when she move here in fall '17 all would be resolved. We planned a vacation this summer and were making lists of what stuff we'd be keeping from each of our households. All this until mid-May, last month. In the space of a couple of days she stopped all communication.
We had Memorial Day weekend plans. I didn't panic, but did send 2 texts asking if all was OK? I called twice and it went to VM. I waited 10 days or so. She texted, "I'm so very sorry, I just don't want to do this". I wrote her a letter describing what I could only guess the barriers were and told her though I was shocked I'd rather see her happy without me than less than happy with me. She texted she'd call on approx.
I haven't attempted to reach her since. Sort of a weird dance we've had all this time. In our off times I have loved other women, so I know I can do that. Still, she's my 1 and I miss her and our future tremendously. He sent twenty texts and nine voice mails so far Maybe three of them are concern that I may be sick or dead but not really because he can drive to my home in five minutes.
I know this is not supposed to be about revenge, and I'm never going back, but after four years of being a doormat, if his anxiety is half of what mine was, I am pleased. I'll try to condense this. Met her in Had a 6 year relationship. We lived 2 hours apart. She moved here, I moved there. Young children we both had created obstacles to anything permanent. We had been engaged thinking we could work all the moving parts out. We split in There was the logistical issue and one BIG issue where we both screwed up.
I was devastated and probably didn't handle things ideally. Nothing regarding the law, but serious nonetheless. I lightly contacted her after 10 years of NC. We spent about 6 months dating etc. It sort of fizzled and neither of us was particularly upset. Still, I was a bit frustrated and didn't contact her, nor did she in return. Fast forward to March She contacted me out of the blue. We've spent the last 14 or so months together.
All of our children are grown and on their own. We discussed a future and how it might look. We got engaged again at Xmas ' The plan was she would move here. All this was discussed with every consideration of how we both felt and the ramifications of everything involved. She was eagerly on board and concrete plans were in place. What to keep of each's stuff, possible jobs for her here which wouldn't be pressing.
I have it handled , vacation in July, etc. May 11 she texted "I'm so very sorry. I just don't want to do this. I called and texted twice asking to speak. In the meantime I'd sent a letter basically saying I could possibly imagine what her reasons were, but was baffled she'd cut me off entirely. I sort of gave her an out in the letter, honestly stating I'd rather have her happy without me than less than happy with me. That was the last contact and would have been about two weeks ago.
I've loved other women during our years long breaks, so I know I can do that. Still, she's special in my mind over 27 years and I really would love to keep this, though I know it's not in my control. I know the no contact period is for self, i'm looking at it and executing it that way. However I can't fool myself, personally my belief is eventually whatever happens happens.
My ex is a great catch, she's older than me. Our sex life was amazing. We broke up Oct. We last had sex this year late Feb. We both have seen or are seeing other people currently. She is adamant that we'll never be together again. I believe she thinks she has summed me up. To a super clingy, irresponsible guy. I didn't have stable job in our relationship which I think was the root of our problems. I'm looking forward to healing and time for myself. I'm taking my flaws serious, and facing them head on until i'll improve.
I'd be lying if said I said I don't want to start fresh with her. I'm not putting all my eggs in one basket. There is an old quote that says if the love is real set it free, if the love returns it was always yours. So I understand reconciled exes who end up making it are definite anomalies, even rare.
I wholeheartedly rationally believe and feel my ex and I are the unique exception. Our compatibility was unusually intense, roughly for at least the first two months, our relationship was magic then. Basically what i want to know is how long should enter no contact for? Having never done it before with this individual. I'd like to ideally make a strong impression. I'd like appreciate your insight. Also if she initiates contact, then what?
Just completely undermine her? I didn't know about the no contact rule ,what do I do now that I've already contacted her? This Scorpio is on day 6 of my initiated no contact. It was easy at first, but I'm wavering now. I must keep silent My boyfriend and I did not break up. Still I want him back. My boyfriend of 9 months has left me saying he loves me but due to my temper he cant see a future.
He says he will still be there to support me, meet me everyday, comfort me. But he clearly says that he doesnt see a future. He is also aware I m seeing other guys. He keeps saying he loves me but cant make it work bcoz I have hurt him horribly in the past, and this is my behaviour pattern that cant change. He wishes me happiness and calls me , msgs me on and off. He just seems so distant, as if he is trying to give him self the blow of break up slow, using me as a comfort cushion whenved he requires. What do I do. How does this NC work? There is no compromise….
My boyfriend of 3years broke up with me and asked me to leave his place…Been trying to talk to him but it seems he has made up his mind… I dnt want to loose him. DO NOT contact him in any way shape or form…that means no texting, calling, social media, not running into him. Let him come back to you. Just keep that in mind. Started chatting to a guy on a dating website. Clicked quickly and messaged long and many messages for a few days before he gave me his number.
The messages continued, photos face shots were sent, we bantered and played around, highly flirting and sexual and many many messages later and 2 weeks we spent a whole day together. It was quite clear we were both into eachother. We messaged some more and then went out for dinner a few days later and I stayed at his house no sex, but other stuff but also a movie and drinking and talking etc. I tried to keep it up and then started to get worried that it was over already. This was the first click I have had since my ex and was smitten!
Then I messaged again a couple of days later asking if he wanted to catch up and he said he was on a motorbike trip. Nothing more than that. I sent a few silly drunken messages like you suck and you clearly want me to leave u alone.
Are you done with me? Just give it to me raw and tell me. He said that he told me he was on a motorcycle trip. And yes he was going to let me go. All the best and good luck. I would love to take you out to dinner if you are free. I feel really crappy about the way I acted. I went no contact for 10 days with no response and then I sent a funny line from his favourite movie and told him that I just watched it.
He replied with this: Yes it is a great movie. Welcome to Rhiannon. You see i am something of a womaniser and i am not proud of it… this year i have decided to try and be a better person. So i am writing this so let you down gently… Like i said, i think you are a nice enough girl Rhiannon but im afraid i think… in fact i know.. Im sorry and i know that probably stings like hell and believe me i know what that feels like… its not nice and i feel horrible doing it. But still, its better this way. You will make someone very happy one day… just not me.
I was in a haze of physical lust and the mental stimulation you provided was addictive. I was having a great time with you, and then got silly, which is so unlike me in these situations. And, I too, am focusing on myself and doing things differently. Yes, it was confusing to me, more so thoughts such as, was the sex with me really awful? Did I not have a cheeseburger after all and was it more like a Big Mac? But of course, I had to question these things. And yes you are an asshole, but you own it and I admire you for that. I am not looking for anyone in that capacity right now as I have so much happening this year with uni, I just want fun times both mentally and physically.
Like I think we both were having at first until I got all attention seeking? I am completely indifferent However, I would love for you to once again be my early morning visitor, preferably soon before I explode? Can we maybe give that a little try? That was last night and there has been no response. What do I do?
Is there no chance of me rekindling this? You broke the dating rules right from the start. He likes a good chase. You made it too easy for him. Lots of women make this mistake. Idk what to think tho Our situations are similar. My break up was last week. How did things work out for you? Did you follow the no contact rule? He is now with another girl and now hates me so much. We have been together for more than a year now. Please help me on how to get him back.
I do love him so much. Have started the no contact rule. And first before I begin, I want to first assure you readers, that there is no situation without a solution. There is no strong marriage that has true love that is without a fight, and there is also no marriage that is without the experience of sweet and sour. God directed me to and open my eyes that those errors and mistakes in marriage if been corrected, these are the things that makes a strong marriage.
With jai mata osa sunlight, I was able to get him back, after 2yrs of total separation.
Why Use No Contact?
Sunlight mata, is the key you need to open every close doors of happiness, rejoice, love and satisfaction into that you relationship. And pls be obedient to follow instructions.. Some relationships need to be left. I met this guy online we became friends really good ones he told me everything about him and I did too I could see he was really honest with me though now I feel I was wrong. After 4 months of being friends he asked me out and our romance started it was going well because there was this situation in our country where connection was not present so all we did was text each other I could feel he loved me very much.
But when he came so we could meet things changed a lot and also during that time the connection was back he hardly talked to me always busy so i always get mad and send crazy messages which will get him angry but it was just too much he was doing that on purpose. After that he suggested we be friends i was all confused and will always be like why will he want to be friends after a break up.
Each time we talk it always end up bad cause I kept wondering how we can still be friends. Right now am so confused I pray each day he comea back I find it hard moving on. I asked him to stay friends as this breakup came as terrible shock and I still had some hopes he would get back.. I am in college and had an year long relationship with my ex girlfriend. We were perfect for each other and were just like two best friends in a relationship and shared everything.
But during the ending stages,I got too occupied with job interviews and some family issues and could not give her the attention she wanted. She also felt that i got flattered by every single woman and that hurt her. So she decided to end it and we agreed to be friends. But about after a month she just stopped being friends and became quite rude and cold. This made me realise her importance and I absolutely could not live without talking to her. I texted her a lot just to get her attention and would seldom get a reply and that too a very short one.
This continued for about two months. She has made new best friends and just about 15 days ago asked me not to contact her. So I did not send her any message and started the no contact. I have to see her everyday in college so it gets kind of awkward when i cross her. Anyways, after following one week of no contact, she yesterday blocked me on social sites.
I really want to get her back cause she was perfect for me. We have so so many memories. Please help me how to get her back. Idk currently how to fully let go. My ex of 7! We lived together but had become so disconnected and stopped being intimate due to real life issues inregards to financial,communication issues etc. No real emotional support was I receiving from him. So one day I found text messages between him and other women. It was hard for me because I still love him but at that point I was tired of being unappreciated and in a sense taking advantage of because he had become too comfortable.
After going through the break up stages 3 months later I still love him and think of him. He reaches out and processes his love and how he wanted to be by my side but soon as I express wanting to try again after him initiating contact twice, he runs! I started no contact for the past 3 weeks because I felt like that messed up our chances of reuniting because it reminded both of us of the issue we had and I began reverting to hurt feelings and obsessing about it being over..
I have attempted the little outreaches to her, thinking that might bring her back. After reading the above article, I know that NC is the only way I will get better……. Well no contact does not work if you were married and caught him having an affair. It has been 16yrs. This did was let him walk away leaving me to deal with his destruction. I hope he will feel what I have had to deal with,. He is my ex-boyfriend, we connected over a year. He told me he was busy with his new job and having a daughter His daughter is now ten years old.
I was just told I was loved but the love he has for me is not as strong as the love I give him. I get empty words, broken promises, and lots of misery and loneliness. I broke up with my ex half a month ago, we dated for 2. I am currently on the first week of no contact. My ex will start his new internship job on the 23rd day of our no contact, which is near the end of my no contact period.
On that day, he will go onto a company trip for three days, where he will meet his new colleagues. I am sure that he will meet many new girls, too. Therefore I am worried that he might start a rebound relationship with someone during this time. Or should I keep no contact going, and wait until the 30th day to text him, where he would be back from the trip already and started working for a few days?
He may think that I am a given for him and will be there for him anyways, which might push him away into looking for someone else. He wont take my texts or calls, deleted and blocked me on fb. I realize I messed up, but find it odd that he would allow a silly misunderstanding and me being stubborn when all else was perfect, be the end-all.?? We have a couple mutual friends that are like his only family…me and the one are super close. I made the mistake we all have here…I called or texted or fb messaged him daily and day five, I found myself deleted and blocked on fb.
I had two drinks w my friend last night and we both got drugged. I had no idea I called him again, and had to call him in the morning to apologize w a message. I just keep screwing up. But do tell me this.. And he was every single day hour by hour. He probably feels like the ultimate way now is ignoring you. Usually, for a guy especially a cop , he would tell you straight away to stop right after your first, second act.
Thus, it may make him feel suffocated and try to avoid you. Now, you need some time away from him, to adjust your mood. Only confidence can speak for your value to a guy. He only told me do not make a contact to him ever he will never msg me or cal me he said he is doing this for me only he is so firm that he will never text me i have lost all hopes what if i lose him if i dont text him for this long i did this once for 7 days then i only texted him back how r u n all n did he missed me he said dont ask such ques whose ans u would not like to hear N said i thought u must have deleted me from ur heart fone watsap etc.
Just stop contacting him! Go live your life, be happy and let him see the confident strong woman that you are and he will come running back to you. If you keep stalking him he will get a restraining order. Guy side, She broke up with me. We started dating a month after she left a bad relationship. We both wanted to take things slow and make sure it was right. Both wanted the same things in life and liked each other.
I got Clingy due to falling for her quick most amazing girl ive ever met and She wanted space. Gave her some but didnt know it was from Texts as well till it was too late. I bump into her at the gym all the time but I just give her a smile. She hasnt texted me in weeks. Hope your doing good! Proper use of no contact worked for me. We were together 5 yrs broken up for 3yrs. I was hanging out with a guy, but we never quite made it S. He showed interest before I went overseas I backed off because long-distance relationship then we both became hesitant around each other when I got back.
I was also initiating the contact all the time because I enjoyed time with him. I eventually walked away because I was sensing we were in desperate need of a break I thought that I was the one straining our relationship and needed to back off on contacting him , and I let him know that he could contact me whenever he was ready to initiate the next get together.
He was also acting mopey and sad by the end of our face-to-face time and has since deleted his facebook account. I have been contact free for 1 weeks now and am trying to make it to 4 weeks, but I want to make sure everything is okay. Should I contact him to make sure everything is okay, or wait until week 4? In fact, I would say that, that is only half the battle. Ok, getting an ex boyfriend back requires an interesting balance.
You have to be hyper aware of your emotions. You need to know when you have to be logical and you need to know when you have to be emotional. If you can find the perfect combination between the two remaining logical while using your emotions to tap into your exes emotions you have a really good chance to get your ex boyfriend back.
Post-breakup is when you are at your emotional peak and while emotions can be good sometimes in this case you are probably too emotional to talk to your ex. That is why the no contact rule is such a beautiful thing.
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- 7 Powerful Benefits of the No-Contact Rule After a Breakup.
- Dating Boundaries - 30 Day No Contact Rule;
Have you ever wondered if your ex is too scared to talk to you? In this section we are going to be covering the range of emotions that will be going through an exes head who feels too scared to even make a move. The Scared Guy- This is a reaction that is the exact opposite of someone who frantically calls or texts.
He is ignoring you out of fear. Still, to this day, I get the shakes when I am talking to a beautiful woman. I am more afraid of what she is thinking about me. Here is the ironic part about the whole thing. I bet that the girl that I am talking to is getting the shakes because she is afraid of what I think about her. It may be entirely possible that he is too scared to reach out for fear of messing up. You tend to see this a lot with an ex boyfriend who YOU broke up with. If YOU broke up with me and implemented a no contact rule then I would definitely be afraid to contact you because of the fear of rejection.
This begs an interesting question:. I got her to reach out to me first after SHE broke up with me. Are you starting to understand no contact now? Dealing with exes during it is almost like a game. The game is all about power and usually the person with the power is in the best position. This is a reaction from exes that I see a lot when I communicate with women on this site. I really want to do a good job explaining this so I am just going to cut right to the chase.
Instead of frantically calling at the beginning of the no contact rule an ex who has this reaction will call just a few times during the middle of the no contact rule. As always, we are going to let our two favorite actors act out this scene for us so we have a better grasp of how this is all going to go down.
You are going to start the scene by implementing the no contact rule on me. I am going to enter into a NC rule duel with you. However, midway through the duel I am going to lose my nerve and reach out to you. Lets hit the pause button and explore this for a minute. In my mind there are two possible explanations for why an ex boyfriend will call you a few days in days or midway through a no contact rule days. Your ex is clueless about the whole situation and has no idea that you are doing a no contact rule on him.
As a result, he will reach out in the middle of the no contact period. Of course, when you ignore the text he sends he is going to figure out really quickly that something is up. Once he figures this out just sit back and watch the craziness ensue! Chances are, if you are doing the no contact rule immediately after a breakup your ex boyfriend is going to be thinking about you a lot.
As a result of that stubbornness he will engage with you in a no contact duel. If he does lose this duel it can tell you a few important things. Firstly, he is thinking about you a lot which we can assume means that he still has some deep emotional feelings for you. Secondly, he cares about what you think and finally, YOU have power over him!
Lets face the facts here. Lets take a moment and define it. The Angry Guy- The type of reaction you can get when your ex wants nothing to do with you and means it.. Therefore, during NC he would not reach out to contact you. The angry guy reaction is really the reaction that is going to tie into the aftertaste effect the most out of any reaction listed throughout this guide.
Lets say that during our fake relationship you were not exactly a good girlfriend. You cheated on me or did something that really upset me. If I broke up with you under those pretenses then the chances are high that I left the relationship with a really bad taste in my mouth. If that was the case, then I probably will not want to contact you during the no contact period.
Except there is something different about the angry guy reaction as opposed to the stubborn guy reaction. The angry guy reaction is a step above that. It is when an ex boyfriend is so angry that he wants nothing to do with you. As I already stated, a lot of the angry guy reaction is going to tie into YOUR choices during your previous relationship a la the aftertaste effect. Typically, the tell tale sign of an angry guy reaction is when your ex says some very hurtful things to your face repeatedly.
So, I suppose the real question here is, is it possible to get someone back if they exhibit this reaction? It is going to take a lot of patience on your part and even then there are no guarantees. In the end, what it all boils down to is if you think your ex is worth it. Really take a good hard look at your previous relationship and ask yourself a simple question:. My boyfriend and I dated for about 3 years. We have lived together for the past year. I had a surgury on Dec 20th, and had complications so I didnt recover fully until the 31st. It was a really scary time for me.
On the 29th he went out with friends to watch a football game and I texted something rude about how I hoped the team he was rooting for didnt win. I was really just hurt he wasnt spending time with me when I finally was starting to feel better. He never came home that night his reason was he was drunk and a friend took his phone. I flipped out and kicked him out. He moved his clothes to that friends house to live. On the 31st I got the news I recovered from my surgury. I was so relieved and I begged him to see me.
We met for drinks and I apologized. I begged him to spend the holiday with me and refused. I called and called all through the 1st which he told me to stop. We saw each other on the Jan 13th and I baked him cookies, bought him a gift, paid for dinner, even ended up making out in the car and layed it all out for him.
We talked about how according to the 5 languages of love I need more quality time and he needs more physical affection and words of affirmation. I begged and begged all night so emotionally promising to deliver on these things. He still ended it with he doesnt want to date me. Hes more calm grounded and quiet where I am busy airy and talkative. I think now that we have talked about it and communicated our needs in a relationship its repairable. However, he isnt interested. He knows I dont want to hear it and feels bad about hurting me but he is single going to start dating has downloaded and made a few profiles and is going to try and move on.
I know I messed up by begging twice - I was emotional. I know i messed up by not initiating NC immediately when he moved out on the 30th. I know i left a bad taste in his mouth. Do you think I even have a chance? Or if the damage is done. Always a chance Tiffany…but best to have a plan and since your NC is underway now, you are heading in the right direction. Be sure you understand though how the whole Program works. Pick up my eBook if necessary as it can crystallize in your mind how to proceed with all kinds of scenarios. Me and my boyfriend broke up a week ago after being in relationship for 5 months!
Last disagreement I felt I had enough of him being sensitive over everything and I texted him to finish the relationship. Btw we were suppose to go on holiday together in two weeks times. After a day I was really upset and I decided to sort thing out but I found out he cancelled our holiday. He asked me to move on. How can he not forgive me? Hi Chris…… I am really unsure if the no contact rule will work for me. The age gap between me and my partner was 18 years. He is 46 and I am We was together for 7 Months and he ended things on new years eve, Saying he felt like we were brother and sister.
And I never showed affection or acted like I was attracted to him. Which was not the case. He told me he wants a relationship with someone and start a family, as he is 48 and not got much time. However whilst we together he never spoke to me about the future. I was always unsure what he wanted. We always joked with eachother, and gave a lot of banter.
And he always stated he dont do serious so early on in a relationship. So that caused me to back away from showing affection, because I didnt want to get hurt. However now it has ended I have realised that I wont actually protecting myself by doing that. I explained this to him after we broke up and he suggested we stay friends and can use this as an experience for future relationships.
So in my head I am seeing him as being done and not wanting to give it another go. Would the no contact rule work on him? I am worried he had insecurities that he would give me his life, and in a few years i would trade in him for a younger man. Which was not the case at all. I feel we had such a connection, and never once did we have an argument or disagreement, We just clicked. And the age was no concern for me. Will me doing the contact rule, make him think he was right with his decision and that it shows I would be happier without him?
We have spoke a couple times since we split. Just as friends and it has been very blunt on his side, and he usually reads a message and not respond. Almost like he is trying to keep things civil but not interested, in talking to me. He was also very close to my daughter and they had a great bond, and he has not questioned how I am or how the kids are. Which makes me think was the relationship just a lie. Did he not care about us as much as he said he did.
I am just worried that the no contact rule will not work on someone who is older. The principles, concepts, theories, strategies, and tactics associated with my Program apply to most everyone as many of the ideas are founded in psychology and lessons learned. Take a look at picking up one of my eBooks to better your chances. Hi Chris, My bf and I have been together for 2. In the beginning we had a great relationship however, overtime we grew apart for many reasons.
He developed a drinking problem but really wanted to change to still be in this relationship and has been sober for a year. During his recovery I was diagnosed with a chronic disease where I was basically housebound for 9 months. I had to move 12 hrs away from him to get support from my family. The distance, lack of communication and my anger drive us apart. He broke up with me because I made him so angry. I had been having thoughts of breaking up with him earlier but he was the first to break up with me.
Rejection hurts a lot. I do still really love him and feel bad for how things turned out, I begged him to stay because I already felt so alone with my health problem. After our break up the next day I flew to his home town to apologize for my actions and hope he would change his mind. He said maybe one day we can try again but said I need to learn how to cope better with my condition and work on myself.
Hi, this is a bit crazy but I dated a guy for around 6 months. We met and dated over the summer, when I had much more time, and was happier and less stressed, and had an amazing time getting to know each other. He told me he liked me enough to try, despite the fact that being with someone with such a chaotic schedule was out of his comfort zone.
My ex was also busy with work and projects but was actually hurt a lot but how little time I seemed to have for him. He tried to institute standing date nights, or hint at spending more time together, but gave up towards the end, especially as I was in finals. The last couple weeks were especially awful for him since we were seeing each other around once or twice a week.
I sent him a few messages after we broke up and he said he would respond to them when he had free time, but never did. I tried calling but he ignored the call. To me, this relationship is worth salvaging because besides the time issue, we were so great together. It may very well be worth salvaging. You should consider implementing No Contact.
Hi Chris, My BF and i of 2. Its been a really emotional break up. I implemented NC the last day we spoke, which was Christmas morning. Last night texted me the longest text since implementing NC. You are the most amazing thing that happened to me. I love you most. OK, so he is still sweet on you, that is for sure. I need the space for now. Thought you should know. Perhaps in the near future, they will become more important to him. I was in a long term relationship for 11 years. We were 4 years together and 7 years LDR. During those time, there were no single day that we never talk to each other despite of huge gap in time differences.
It was way beyond more happiness and felt that the distance has been all worth it. Long story short, that happiness made me very greedy, jealous and very toxic girlfriend.