I need a guy in my life! Now, for this particular one, I called in an expert to speak to us about this one and the expert is my lovely wife. Can you ladies say what she said up there? I want to get married, I really really want a husband and kids and a dog and a fence and all that kinda stuff, but you know what God?
Real Dating Series
I need a spouse! My mum told me from the beginning I need one, everyone around me has one. Because you know what, I love her but I love you more. I want this but I want you more. Can you do the same thing? Can you surrender to God, can you trust Philippians 4: You heard the story, she really walked out of there one day and she was so sad because she really thought God was telling her that she will be single for life. You know that one right? And I want to say one thing to you…What in the world is your problem??
What is your deal? Please explain to me what is your deal? Why is it that you who is a sweet girl with so much potential, who deserve a God-fearing man, who deserve the best of the best of the best, you settle for losers. What you need is to get a clue, sweet girl, because you can do much better than that, and God has something very good instore for you sweet girl and you need to get a clue. Maybe my message here today is a clue, sorry guys, maybe this is going to be harmful for some of you guys. You can do better! Get a clue, sweet girl.
Why do you do that sweet girl? You know why you do that? You will not change him, he will change you. He will mess you up big time. You wanna throw your life down the toilet? You are fishing for me ladies and you are trying to find a good man. Throw the sucker back!! And you should be doing the same thing.
Does he go to church?
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Okay, relax, is he spiritual, does he love God, does he go to church, like what is he? Okay, relax, is he spiritual, does he love God, does he…have a bible? Does he know how to pray? What are you talking about sweet girl? Some of us think that the outside stuff and the inside we can change. You sweet girl who settle for the guy who may be smart and may have great dimples and tells great jokes, fast forward now 15 years.
A great joke to lighten the mood, or his dimples will solve all my problems! What you want at that point in time is a man to get on his hands and knees and to shake the heavens with prayer. You want a man of faith, you want a man who has a humble spirit, you want a man who has a gentle soul.
Why do you buy used when you can buy new? Therefore by their fruits you will know them. You tell me what is coming out of this man, is the love of God coming out of him? Is faith in Christ coming out of him? Is humility coming out of him? I told you before, you should know on the first date, you should know within the first thirty minutes of meeting someone if they love the Lord, are they committed to the Lord or are they not. You should be able to see it, smell it, touch it, the love of God inside of them. Do you want to know what the key in this whole thing is? Do you know the key to attracting a man of true worth?
Ladies…the key to attracting a man of true worth is becoming a woman of true worth. It applies to everything in life. Give them the finger! You attract what you are. This applies also to the married people in the room who have a list, longer than the list of Santa Claus of the things they want changed in their spouse.
All the stuff that my husband needs to become and all the things that my wife needs to become. Check yourself first man! Michael Jackson said it best, go with the man in the mirror. You attract what you are so before you go looking at someone and saying that he needs to be more loving or he needs to be more spiritual or he needs to be this and that…maybe you need to start by looking at yourself first because you will attract what you are.
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- Real Dating - Part 1.
Where to go from here? Delight yourself in the Lord.
Submit what makes the Lord happy. Delight means take pleasure in his pleasure; enjoy what makes him happy; look forward to doing things that will put a smile on his face and the way he wants you to do things. Because when you do that he shall give you the desire of your heart. When you begin delighting yourself in the Lord, do you know what the Lord does?
The Lord changes you, he changes your heart, he changes your desires, he makes you more like him when you delight yourself in him and you become more like him. And you know what? He starts fulfilling his desires one at a time which now become your desires. Those who know how to delight themselves in the Lord, I promise that God will take care of your desires and take care of your needs and will never leave any of his children hungry.
You have a big problem. Same thing with our heavenly father. Men, at your best are strong leaders. God has given you the gift of leadership and to take charge of the situation. At your worst, you are passive. Women, at your best you are submissive, because at your worst you are wickedly rebellious.
Let us be submissive to what God wants us to do. In the name of the father and of the son and of the holy spirit one God, Amen. Forgive us dear Lord for our lack of faith, forgive us for looking at you and seeing a small God and not seeing Almighty God who parts seas, who moved mountains who juggles the universe in the palm of his hands. Give us dear Lord to submit to your truth and love you and to surrender ourselves entirely to you. Give a special blessing to our gathering, whose who are single, those who are married, those who are troubled in soul and mind and spirit, we pray that your comforting hand may be upon them this day.
Real Dating - Part 4.
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Listen Online You are missing some Flash content that should appear here! Anthony Messeh Feed Feed St. Have marriages ever been worst? Have divorces ever been higher? Has there ever been so much adultery outside of marriage? Forget marriage, the life of singles has been destroyed by this dating methodology as well.
And even an atheist can look around at the world today and say that this model of dating is not a very very good one.
There has to be a better way to do it. Stick with the Wonder Years ways, stick with the Saved by the bell way. Look at Proverbs 4: So before you follow that road, look at the destination. Is that where I want to be? Is that the end that I want to have in my life? There has to be a better way. There has to be a higher standard. There has to be something better than this nonsense that we see around us. And the good news is…that there is. The bible does have principles on relationships and especially marital relationships that we can extract out to see how this dating model should go.
But do you know the hardest thing to believe? Is that God has a better plan, not for you but for ME. That God does have better. We talk about a better path because we want a better destination. One of the best promises in all the bible. All the needs that you have in life will be supported by his riches. The bank can pay all my debts really really easy. You want to know what causes problems in marriage?
Real Dating - Part 4
One of the two partners has taken their eyes off God. This promise says that God will supply all your needs, but when there are problems in marriage it usually happens where I meet the other person, I love the other person, the other person is perfect, the other person is the best, the other person is this or that and then the honeymoon finishes and then real life hits.
Your spouse is very very important, but they can at best be number two. Look at the following verse and I want you to think…. Can you say this to your spouse? Can any spouse give that to you? No human being can give this to you, only Jesus can. Your spouse is not supposed to meet your needs, you know what your spouse is? Your spouse is the icing on the cake. Said another way, pursuing marriage more than pursuing God is idolatry. It has become marriage. It can also be that way in marriage if you hold your spouse higher than God. There are people I know who cannot live without a relationship, or pursuit of a relationship.
They have to be either in a relationship or pursuing one. And as soon as that one finishes they have to get another one. Now all of you hopeless romantics are probably going to start throwing things at me right now…. Love is not enough for marriage! How can he say that? That was back in the 80s…. This is what TV teaches, and this is what music teaches and this is garbage. This is why marriages stink. This is the bad fruit of the dating system because we believe that love is enough. Love is not enough. You know in the bible where it gives commands, Ephesians 5 gives commandments to the husband and to the wife on how to have a successful marriage.
For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. Ladies…is that an easy command? So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. How did Christ love the church? He got beaten and killed for the sake of the church! Husbands…is that an easy thing? Is it easy to lay down your lives for the wives? These commandments are not easy, these commandments are difficult, how in the world am I going to fulfill these things?
You know the key to Ephesians 5: The key is in verse 21 that happened before all these verses and is the key motivator. Because of what I said in verse 21, because of your fear to God. When Christ gave the golden rule it was not in regard to marriage, it was in regard to this relationship: Do you know what the Golden Rule of marriage is? Marriage is not two people coming together and sharing everything. Marriage is you coming to die! Some husbands are like.. What about my needs, what about my my my….?? And trust that you will do the same thing for me.
Our motivating factor should be our love for God, not our love for our spouse. As we go along in this series, I will just kinda give some personal experiences. Even my wife, at the time she thought I was going to be a monk or something like that. I pursued getting to know God and I spent a lot of time whether it was here in the church with service or whether it was in my own time.