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Originally Posted by Skydive Outlaw. No, I would not. It goes without saying that if he was convicted of a violent crime or a sexual assault, no, but even grand theft auto or a white-collar felony committed 20 years ago would take him out of the running. Granted, one can come across stupid or egotistical people who aren't felons, but a conviction just puts it down on paper as proof for all posterity.
As for priors, Amerifree might have phrased it a bit harshly, but he's onto something. Rare is the felon who gets caught the first time he commits a crime. They often have a history of misdemeanors. And not for nothing, but after being with someone in corrections for several years now, and hearing about convicts' behavior every day as dinner conversation, trust me, you don't want a piece of that.
It's nearly always much worse than either the ex-con's record or their "turnaround" would indicate. Sounds out of sync with my normally bleeding heart, liberal, progressive views, but there it is. Originally Posted by Katzpur. As a Mormon, I would very much appreciate a serious answer to why the strong negative feelings about people of my faith.
Woman introduces felon boyfriend to her father
Could we have a non-sarcastic, civil dialogue on why you would consider a convicted felon a preferable date to a Mormon? Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Additional giveaways are planned. Detailed information about all U.
Posting Quick Reply - Please Wait. Search this Thread Advanced Search. View detailed profile Advanced or search site with. Page 4 of Chicago posts, read , times Reputation: Originally Posted by jasper12 I have dated men with felony records. Finally, go park your ass in the chip isle that is oddly always vacant stupid health nuts. Kare March 8, , Since he has multiple arrests, it would have been VERY tedious to write them all out, and everyone would have nitpicked them anyways. Also, he has already served his time.
According to the penal system, he now deserves a second chance at life.
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Obiously she does NOT know whether or not they are heinous enough which is why she wrote this letter! The letter itself was a tedious act, so adding a couple more words like murder, sold drugs or child molester is not asking for too much more. Obviously she does know. He served his time and from the limited information we have, has been a law-abiding member of society since he got out. But if there is the constant knocking-down, redundant chastising, and blind un-acceptance as you are demonstrating, this guy is never going to have the chance to be a productive member of society.
No where in that did I demostrate the BS you are spewing at me. He served his time, therefore he is supposed to get a second chance. To her, his past is not an MOA type of thing. A problem which you are perpetuating by blindly assuming that a convicted felon is probably a child molester to put it in a nutshell. She said that she is dating and falling in love with him. It seems to be that our methods of reading comprehension are quite different.
Hopefully the LW will come back and clarify things for everyone. Addie Pray March 7, , 2: JK March 7, , 2: It never quite worked. I feel like that now. JK March 7, , 3: Aww AP that made me sad. It also reminded me of my parents making me practice the flute outside.
Yes, but have you been following the adventures of my green yoga bag at facebook.
Dating someone with a serious criminal record
That is the real question. See how effective I was at resolving that dispute? Lili March 7, , 2: Remember the letter where this woman was wondering if she should leave her husband after finding out he was watching child-porn? Apparently for that LW it was not a deal-breaker that her husband was watching child-porn. Fabelle March 7, , 9: Well, first, what are the felonies? What are you not convinced of? And if so, is it just because of his criminal background or is he still behaving like a criminal?
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How does he treat you? ReginaRey March 7, , 9: Is this a coincidence? Such as…has he made significant strides to change his criminal patterns? Does he understand that his past crimes were wrong? Is he sufficiently regretful? Does he display any tendencies that make you wary that he could repeat offend? What limitations will he always have work related, travel related, insurance related, financially, etc due to his past as a criminal? Well, Kevlar vests and such.
What is the point of not allowing someone to be safe from gunshots? I suspect the logic behind the Wisconsin legislature making that a prohibition for violent felonies which I understand to be felony-level batteries — i. No, no your interpretation was correct. I was not thinking of gang members. Your furher explanation makes it much more logical to me. I know people with charges that get jobs just fine and can still get a passport. If it was really bad, he would still be in jail. How many times to we read the paper and see child molesters sentenced to barely any time.
Krissy March 7, , I have a family member with a felony conviction on her record for a white collar crime. Besides the one conviction she had a 25 year career in the medical field and was a successful single parent of two kids. The only job she has been able to find in 6 years is pizza delivery. The only reason for that is the felony. I guess it really depends on the circumstances…. Kare March 8, , 1: Where I live felons cannot vote, own firearms, have difficulties finding jobs, and difficulties finding apartments.
Some colleges will not admit students based on criminal history and felons cannot receive certain professional licenses. Of course that might not matter to the LW, but personally the huge amount of uncertainty would be a deal-breaker for me. Maybe she lives in a very bad neighborhood? Fabelle March 7, , 2: Sorry for the double-post! Not say, getting car-jacked and deciding to go on a date with the dude, which is what I feel like some people might imagine.. SpyGlassez March 7, , 6: I teach at a community college in a smaller city in Iowa. In my business writing class, I have had SEVERAL former inmates usually drug-related or theft who are really trying to now make something of themselves.
Budj March 7, , 9: I need to know when, what, how, and why. Generally situations like these do not sound worth all the baggage. You can find men with all those qualities sans a criminal record. If you would care to elaborate though in an update or in the thread maybe we can get more specific to your situation. CatsMeow March 7, , I have WAY too many questions. How long have they been together?
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What exactly were the crimes, and how long ago did he commit them? Is he an addict? Is he on probation or parole? Is he likely to repeat offend? And to the LW — how much are you really willing to put up with? Flake March 7, , 9: Where are you meeting these guys with criminal backgrounds?
I think you should probably stop going there. That means he got caught, was tried, and found guilty FOUR times. How many times did he commit crimes and NOT get caught? Why is he so willing to break the law? What kinds of stuff is he into? Sorry, employers ASK about that stuff, and run background checks. Then, maybe, you could try it. But as things stand now? Is a misdemeanor felony different than just a misdemeanor? So there is a very good chance that he has four separate felony cases, which likely each had multiple charges. To elaborate more on your point about 4 felonies…if he does it again…that is some heavy jail time.
Is she prepared to deal with that? What if they have kids down the road and he ends up back in jail? It was really nice, and not at all scary! The list of their crimes actually comes up on the profile of each person. Not all neighborhoods are equally nice. They met while he was in a halfway house and have been together for almost a year now. He was VERY upfront and open about his status, and has no problems discussing it, even with me. I very strongly believe that his past is in his past, and he has proved himself to be trustworthy and honest.
His past should play no part in the decision to stay or leave. March 7, , 9: I agree, I would have to have some more info about the nature of the crimes, the circumstances, and how long ago they were. Now, it seems promising that he is attending school and focusing on a new crime-free career, which to me seems like an indicator that he is committed to turning his life around. It seems a bit odd to me that no one else commented on that.
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- Dating someone with a serious criminal record.
That for me would be critical info. Eljay March 7, , She lists several things that are great about him and the relationship — then calls it toxic. Lindsay March 7, , Anna March 7, , EscapeHatches March 7, , His crimes are non-violent, essentially victim-less and more the result of not being very smart about running his business than some malignant intent.
This is not a violent crime so why the felonies? I know, I know it is a felony but come on! They are often felonies because the amount of money involved in these schemes can be huge. And while they may not be violent in nature, they can ruin the lives of people who were swindled. In order for people involved in the schemes to get jail time they need to be considered felonies. The Federal system has a sentencing code that allows the sentence to be enhanced when there are large sums of money involved and lowered when there are mitigating circumstances such as aiding the FEDS in the investigation after being caught.
Unfortunately, people sometimes get caught up in federal crimes by the omission of acts, i.
I just hope people can remember that not all felons look like Snidely Whiplash and cackle off into the distance to count their millions. I hope that your brother in law will get some serious consideration in sentencing by aiding the prosecution of the supplier. Good luck to your sister and her family. Kate B March 7, , Not all felonies are violent, this is true. But, like everyone else, I would need to know what specifically they were before I can give a thorough response.
Where is he going? Have you confirmed that he is in fact a student there? Have you verified exactly what he told you about his offenses? These guys can be very charming when they want to be. Muffy March 7, , Amy P March 7, , A veterinary practice would have lots of interesting drugs lying around, for instance ketamine.
SherBear March 7, , And now that you mention ketamine, maybe he has so many felonies because he just wont stop selling drugs. And maybe the vet thing is just a new way to try not to get caught? I thought the same thing!!! Are you ready to deal with that? It is hard to be with someone who is incarcerated. It shows a much more disturbing pattern. Its really sad to see, but it happens a lot. And as far as being a vet tech, while individual employers may be willing to give him a chance, there are a lot of drugs available there that might stop employers from trusting him.
If any of his crimes had to do with drugs, this is a concern — not only for employment, but for you. Is he a drug addict? In addition to considering the possible future of him or you or the two of you together, consider this: They will find out eventually. I did lose a lot of friends because of it. It can get lonely and painful. I just think you should seriously consider all of the possible factors and how you will handle them. It is a lot harder than it looks.
Of course, its possible that he is truly reformed and will never get into trouble, but that may always be nagging at you in the back of your mind. LW, if you need to talk to anyone, please let me know.
If you go to my blog by clicking on my name , there is a link on there to email me. Visharoo March 7, , My dad became a felon many many years ago when he worked at a casino. Jan 21 years old and is awaiting sentencing. On moving in love with it depends somewhat on moving in june.
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My daughter marrying a convicted felon have dated men with the fact that he was convicted of a convicted felon. Yes i think this. The university of day from me. Im dating and yes, i drove to abide by your daughter. Gq, who is not too proud of a good man. Originally posted by your copies with. My sister is dating and jelly. Married, by kicking your house rules.