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I can't see why his friends wouldn't say hi other than they may just be assholes. As far as the car-buying thing, you're not supposed to start any new undertakings during that time cause it's bad luck. And,yes, you are supposed to eat the sweet you got at the temple.
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Sounds like your bf doesn't really care about these things, so just enjoy his company P. She is worried because she doesn't know what to expect from him. He is randomly making decisions and telling her what to do without telling her why he is doing it. Sikhs don't believe in bad luck. He isn't making this decision based on any religious doctrine. But he does care about these things. Just in a superficial and "ignorance is bliss" way. Apologize if I'm assuming too much, but the reason you may have all this confusion may be because your boyfriend doesn't know much about Sikhi.
Some Sikhs believe the faith espouses vegetarianism it's a debate, I for one do not and thus would feel some sense of guilt on eating it the day of the temple. The car thing is just his personal thing probably, trying to not get wrapped up in extravagance during a time of mourning. This isn't anything doctrinal, it's just traditionally the way things are done. Conservative cultural norms and what have you. The book is the Guru Granth Sahib, which represents the core spiritual teachings of Sikhi.
We bow to it out of respect, and in the spirit that this book's teachings are equally as valid to us today as the living Gurus' teachers words were centuries ago. The sweet is Karah Prashad. It's just considered a blessing really. The walking around is a rite some perform, not all though. This has absolutely nothing to do with Sikhi.
Whether you believe you're supposed to be vegetarian or eat meat, that's something you're supposed to uphold at all times - there are no auspicious dates for which you should maintain a specific diet. As a Sikh myself, if a family I was marrying into observed any of that, I would take absolutely no part in it. Stuff like this makes me sad - people who have no clue about our faith making it seem like a hodgepodge of hokey-pokey.
If he is genuinely expecting you to take on parts of his religion, which is not your own, that's a red flag. Sikhism is not a rule book on what is or is not allowed. It is a philosophy on how to live your life. Inter-faith marriages are fairly common in Sikh families. I know of Sikhs who have married Hindus, Muslims, and Christians without any major issues aside from the ones that most Desis go through anyway when marrying outside of their own cultural, religious, or ethnic groups.
Honestly, it sounds less like he's forcing her to take part in his religious beliefs and more like he is really bad at explaining these very basic aspects of his culture and religious beliefs There seems to be a complete lack of communication in this part. This guy does not know much about Sikhism as evidenced by his ritualistic beliefs and is somehow expecting OP to learn about it.
He sounds just like "Muslim" dudes who don't practice for shit but make their girlfriends practice Islam Marriages are allowed, not like there is a rule in Sikhism that says you can't. The thing is traditional views and values of parents always muddle with the newer ways of thinking. Hello, I am a British Kashmiri. I have lots of Sikh friends. I can help you out!! So from my understanding Sikhs are the most liberal of Indian religions. I was brought up Muslim but I don't practice that much. I have family members that have married into different cultures and I plan doing the same.
I think Central and South American culture is similar to Indian culture. I experienced this living in Brazil for a year and spending time with my ex Colombian girlfriend in Bogota. I've come across friends that have had serious problems in the past. The key to your happiness is to work together. Your boyfriend knows deep down that you are probably not going to convert so I am sure he is willing to work with you. Give him some time to get the family stuff out of the way.
I bloody wish I wasn't on my phone and at work for me to answer all the questions for you. I can tell you the reason why he doesn't eat meat on the temple days is because eating meat in Sikhism is forbidden. If he eats it on other days he's just making himself feel better by not eating it on temple days. I'm the same on a Thursday night after work drinks. I try not to drinks because Friday is the only mosque day for me. I hope this helps for now. I will come back back and answer all of the other questions for you with a practicing Sikh friend. If you both love each other.
It sounds like you do! It will all slowly but surely fall into place. Best of luck mate xxx. Eating meat isn't forbidden at all. At temple meals no meat is served so that all people, regardless of religion and dietary practices, can take part in the meal.
I have no idea about the year of vegetarianism though You have not told us what religion you follow, so I will assume Christianity. I cant understand or make sense of why you would drink wine as the blood of jesus or eat bread as his body , or give up meat for lent, or even celebrate Xmas when Jesus was born on a completely different day. Like Christianity and almost all other religions, Sikhs also have their own set of dogma and irrational beliefs and rituals.
Whether they are worth believing in or not, and whether they make sense, is your personal decision. Regardless of what everyone says, even after marriage, you can have your own faith in all religions. The Udasis , who consider themselves as a denomination of Sikhism, lay emphasis on being ascetic, thus violating the "Non-family-oriented living" principle. Sri Chand , the ascetic son of Guru Nanak , was the founder of the Udasi. From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia. This article has multiple issues. Please help improve it or discuss these issues on the talk page.
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Please discuss this issue on the article's talk page. Build relationships with people. Even with potential partners. Leave all people inspired and make sure they see you and not something fake. Trust this process and with this approach anyone can like you. Interestingly, the Sikh's appearance and behavior on that show was criticized by many Sikhs for being "unbecoming" of someone with a turban and beard. So, while some might consider such a person unattractive for wearing these articles, there are also competing expectations applied around how one will vs. I would just like to reiterate that a turban is not an indicator of the wearer's morals, purity, honour or attractiveness.
The World Sikh Organization has proven this fact. Alternatively, a lack of a turban also does not indicate the absense of these characterstics…………"Imagine there's no heaven It's easy if you try No hell below us Above us only sky Imagine all the people living for today.
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Imagine there's no countries It isn't hard to do Nothing to kill or die for And no religion too Imagine all the people living life in peace" -Jon Lennon. This will and always has been a hot topic. Twenty out of the thirty women turned their lights off when Param stepped out, while it is a possiblity this might have occurred because of his turban and beard; clean shaven men have gone through similar rejection because of appearance.
As Jatinder mentioned, we're in a time where it's important to "look good" and currently beards and turbans are not what many perceive as "looking good".
This isn't true in all cases though, we can't make a generalization about all women. Having also been brought up in a western culture and not having much interest in pursuing Sikhi, my parents very much coerced us into keeping our hair, doing paat, going to punjabi school as any Sikh parent should do. And then at a certain point in my life I was the young rebellious girl with cut hair who lived among a father, a mother, and brothers who had uncut hair.
How to Date an Indian (Advice for the Non-Indian) | HuffPost Life
Developing in a family with men who wear turbans vs. In my situation, my siblings and I always argued with our parents to allow us to cut our hair, we had no purpose in keeping it. Now many may think since I myself wanted to trim my hair that I must want to only date someone who is also clean shaven. I made the decision of cutting my hair not because I wanted to impress others but for mere fact that I did. Throughout the years I also came to understand my brothers perspective. As stated above many perceive bearded men with turbans as extremely religious, but raised with the brothers I had, I know not everybody is.
Someone who is clean shaven can transpire to be considerably religious than someone who isn't. All I know is that I have met and seen many attractive men who wear turbans and carry a full beard. I do not believe facial hair is gross, unattractive, or unclean, unless you make it appear that way. I also commend all of the women who don't see that as a barrier to start a relationship. One thing that always annoys me is that whenever somebody posts a topic like this, suddenly all the anonymous internet girls come flooding with responses like "no way!
As a Sikh with a Turban and beard granted it is trimmed , I can tell you from first-hand experience that women, both sikh and non-sikh, will be attracted to you. Of course, this isn't to say that every girl will fall in love with you at first sight, but it does mean that if you have the confidence then there is no reason why you shouldn't be successful at finding a partner. I've been rejected before because of my Turban, but I've also been showered with compliments for it. I think a lot of the problem comes from wearing a patka as a child and growing up in an environment where your confidence is attacked.
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If you are confident in your appearance and aren't afraid of the rejection that ALL men will face sikh, non-sikh, turban, beard, and clean-shave alike , I assure you that you will have success at some level. Discrimination is constant in all aspects of relationships for Sikhs and non-sikhs alike.
The following is not meant to take away from personal experiences of others, we are all different. In my experience being a Sardar with complete kesh carries with it all the power in the world to be first and foremost attractive in your confidence and chased and sought out by real and imaginary people.
I do not speak of crass Punjabi machismo, rather a calm self confidence and valour rooted in Sikh values. The moment someone is not interested or removes an opportunity, it is their loss and they are not deserving. It accelerates my ability to find an abundance of amazing gorgeous people in all aspects of life, from all walks of life. I am not seeking relationship with a partner, but there never has been any shortage of all types of relationships with amazing people directly as a result of my dastar and dhari including the most amazing person in my life.
With respect to seeking a partner, in my experience there are so many sardars who attract a great deal of interest and respectful friendships with women from varied backgrounds. This is not a complicated issue. One looks to date the kind of person that shares similar kinds of values and goals as oneself. The real solution to all this is our community developing an open mind to dating, which would make it easier for Sikh men and women to find people with similar values whether they keep their kesh, turban, etc.
With the next generation of Sikh children in the West, I don't see this as being a real issue in the long run, because the environment will be a lot different as our generation people currently in the 20's and early 30's will most likely as a whole be a lot more open to their children dating other Sikh children granted we'll probably have different rules about how to go about it.
How to Date an Indian (Advice for the Non-Indian)
A Sikh guy with a turban going on a western dating show speaks volumes more about his own internal conflict about what he desires versus anything about it being hard to find someone who is a Sikh to date. I also saw a Twitter update from Naujawani. If something hinders your progress in an aspect of life that you care about i.
How you can blame those girls from whichever background who do not want a Khuli Dari person as a life partner when growing hair is not supported by even G Granth Sahib!? Why link Sikhi with unshorn hair and other "articles of faith"? In my opinion, this ultra-conservative thinking that only a 'full-version' Khalsa can be a Sikh need to be debated as it has not only disfranchised millions of the so-called sehajdharis Sindhi Hindus alone are in millions but has also given us generations of Sikh youth growing up with inferiority complex.
As far as preference for Keshdhari Sikh is concerned, just check the matrimonial advertisements in Indian papers or even online and you would get a good understanding of the Sikh girls and boys too aspirations. Vast majority of these adverts want "clean-shaven" partners. I have become more and more interested in Sikhism for myself too — the more I learn about it, the more it appeals to me. So I don't have any negative opinion of a guy having a beard and turban. A guy who wears it might or might not be attractive, it depends on the guy….
But for me what is kind of frustrating and even heartbreaking is that usually no matter how well we get along and how well the relationship is going, they want to keep me a secret from friends and family or break up 'before it gets too serious' because of criticism and social pressure to preserve their culture and date within their community. My white friends who have dated Arab guys have had similar experiences. A lot of cultures are like this, especially I think, when people are living ex-Pat outside of their homeland and are trying to keep their culture alive.
I'm sure a Sikh guy doesn't want to be thought of in a negative way for keeping Kesh and tying turban and non-Sikhs girls don't want to be thought of as disposable for casual fun. It has made me really cautious about investing any real feelings or time and energy into any more of these relationships. And I think even if I had a good relationship with a Sikh guy and he wanted to get serious, if I really did care about him, I would hate to be the source of conflict between him and his family and friends….
So I think there are barriers on both sides. Even if the number of mixed culture couples is small, if they could gain more acceptance it would help pave the way for more couples and make the sides more familiar with each other. The problem that I perceive with the Sikh community is the skewed balance between the two genders and Sikhi. This leads to friction in the Sikh community and the importance of the males hair over the females. Guru Ji gave us Sikhs an identity, so that society could distinguish a Sikh from a non-Sikh.
The majority of SIkh females have haircuts and very few are expected to keep their hair and wear a dastar, they have more of a choice with their hair. If you ever meet a Sikh girl that wears a dastar, it is often by her own personal choice than her parents or the communities pressure. The problem is we are not giving our Sikh males the choice that the females have. We are being selfish. The future will see young Sikh men with dastars but they females will be haircut and shaved, what kind of Sikhi is that.
White Sikhs follow Sikhi percent and expect both their sons and daughters to fulfill the khes and dastar part of Sikhi, it is not just a guy thing. My take on the show. It was a positive that a third of the girls kept their lights on after they saw Param. Most Sikh guys due to their negative attitude would have assumed that only a few if any would have kept their lights on in the first place.
The Black girl Tasha when asked about why she kept her light on thought that Param was confident coming on with a bright red turban and was stylish. Where Param lost them was when he did not respond to the racist remark by the blonde girl about using his turban to keep her mobile phone cellphone to the Americans during a date.
What surprised me was that almost all the audience understood that her comment was inappropriate and the presenter went and hid his head in an audience member's lap. They person ironically who did not see the remark as inappropriate was Param himself! This was where Param lost out.
The audience expected him to make a cutting but humourous retort in response but he just said 'there's plenty of space there' thereby intimating to the audience that he accepted racists remarks and was therefore weak. For girls like Tasha who was black and probably experienced racism at many points in her life as well as the other girls his response was in total contrast to the confident manner he had initially displayed. Who would want to date any man who accepted racist remarks? Is it any wonder that all the girls then switched off their light.
Had he had the confidence as well as well as the quick wit to retort to the racist remark as ' I would have thought there's more than enough space between your ears for your mobile phone'! Sure, let's blame Param for what the girl said to him. You obviously can't understand how it feels to be in front of a live audience with a ton of cameras in your face and Param was just trying to ease the tension off of the comment.
You obviously don't understand what being a diplomat is all about, he wasn't going to raise hell and get all angry on television because one ignorant girl made a dumb comment, instead he calmly played it off. I thought he had a ton of confidence and portrayed himself and Sikhs great. Furthermore, I highly doubt the black girl turned her light off because he didn't respond how she saw fit. Who is she to judge how he responds? Let's look at it from a female perspective. He isn't that bulky, not that tall, and he doesnt seem that masculine. Besides all this, he still had enough room to spit some mad gain, which is where i think he failed.
It is the turban and the beard. The girl straight up said that she didn't want a guy with a beard and the turban is just too weird for most American and British girls to understand, it seems archaic and extremist to them. He had a ton of confidence and one could tell he had a really nice and outgoing personality.