My ex girlfriend is dating someone else i want her back

Contents:


  1. Post new comment
  2. Part 2: Doing No Contact When She is with Her New Boyfriend
  3. How To Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back From Her New Boyfriend (Without Looking Desperate)
  4. Can I Get My Ex Back If She’s Already Dating?

These situations can be a bit tricky because sometimes a girl can go through phases where they seek different things. If you don't find your comment here, it's highly likely that your comment did not meet initial posting guidelines. If you have a lengthy situation and require more input regarding the matter, you could post your story on our forum boards where many of our community members would be more than willing to share personal advice. Since last week, we broke up due to me hearing her complaining about our relationship and it really breaks my heart.

She said that i changed my attitude and all her housemates however just ask her to break up when she's fighting. I open the door and initiate the break up myself. When she begged me to stay i choose to walk away. It is my greatest mistake ever. This week has been a terrible. I couldnt eat or sleep well as i missed her so much. I did some silly things like meeting her up to begged her to stay and texting her like i miss you. She told me when i turn my head away, she feels so much better. And i couldnt imagine to lose her. Give her some space, and work on those aspects she felt were issues in the relationship and question yourself if these were indeed things that you may have begun taking for granted later into the relationship which caused her the unhappiness.

Hi im 18 so is my ex gf we were together for 2 years. She broke up with me for a number of reasons; commitment fears, wanting to be independent, because she couldnt be in a co-dependent relationship, because she didnt find me attractive anymore and stopped loving me. She said i was the right person and the wrong time and i believed her. I asked her why and she said it is all just for fun and has no feelings, but it makes me feel sick. We've only been broken up a month and she's already sleeping with and dating random guys she doesnt even know. I want her back as a girlfriend but i have no idea how to do it, and how to make her realise she made the wrong decision.

How do i convince her everything she's done since she dumped me is wrong and a mistake, and get her to want me for me, and want to be with me. We're friends at the moment and she says she loves me as a friend but doesn't want me back. Unfortunately, only she can make that decision on her own to realize her mistakes of letting you go. One thing you can do to help with that is by focusing on yourself and improving aspects to make you look like a better catch.

Show her these changes and get her to realize from there. It is the first time we got a break up. Its been a week since then, i made some mistakes like begging her to stay and even got drunk to cause some trouble to her like calling her up and telling her i miss her. Also some short messages like i missed you, care for her like whether has her eaten. Im suspecting her to be sleeping with someone else but i couldnt do anything.

Is there still chances for me to get back with her after no contact rule starting by now? We were together for 2. The reason of breaking up is because of me initiating after hearing she complains to her housemates about me changing my attitude to her. I dont cherish her enough and i look even more desperate now. How do i "Get her to realise from there" though?

Are you saying i should change myself to make myself more attractive and stuff like that? Well, that is the objective of our 5 step plan. We advocate for positive changes to create a better version of yourself because the current version causes the relationship to end. How can i get her if I will not beg to come back Begging makes you look desperate and weak, and she will lose respect for you in the process.

All the more if she has moved on, begging will only affirm her decision to walk away from you. Pick yourself up emotionally first, address the issues that you contributed towards the breakup, before reaching out and building attraction as if you were chasing her for the first time. Hi, So my ex and I were together for about 13 months. In that 13 months we broke up several times due to fighting, but we always got back together after a week or less. Last November we broke up after a really tense situation and it lasted for 7 months.

We tried dating and getting to know other people in that time, but we ended up back together last June. Unfortunately we broke up again in August and now I just found out that she's now back to dating the guy she was seeing before we got back together in June. Apparently they've been dating again for a few weeks now. I've already made some big mistakes like making her really angry at me after this break up and send long messages saying sorry and that I wanted her back. She's already blocked me from social media. I know I should initiate No Contact and I should try to improve myself and try to fix the toxic parts of our relationship, which I have been doing, but how long do I do NC for?

And do you think I still have a chance at getting her back? You might have to consider if getting back is truly the best choice. In the time you've been dating her, the relationship has repeatedly ended which clearly indicates a problem between both parties which may require change from both ends and not just you. However, if you still intend to get back with her, 30 days of no contact seems right given the time frame of the you guys getting together from June till August.

If after no contact, she is still dating the guy or doesn't indicate interest to be with you at that time, you might have to consider walking away even longer for now. Hi Kevin, I like your article and i think your advice is super helpful given my situation. My story is super long and i'd be happy to post it up here but I think what would be really helpful is if I can potentially get on a call with you to discuss my situation. We provide personal email coaching with Kevin in which you'd be able to share your story with him and get one-to-one advice.

More information can be found in this link. My ex and I had been dating from March 18 to around June 18 when everything fell apart. I was in the wrong because she found some texts on my phone when texting another girl and those messages were a bit naughty. She ignores me and comes back oftenly. I want my girl back. Perhaps for the time being, it might be better to go into no contact to give her some space to let go of the bitter emotions she may be feeling.

Apologize for your previous actions, and tell her that it might be better to spend some time apart. When you reach out again, try to make things up to her and show her that you have changed since then. Hi there Ryan, I just wanted to start off by saying I love your articles and they've helped me tremendously. With that being said, me and my girlfriend of 4 years broke up about 3 weeks ago, we are both 21 and we've only ever been with each other. She said that she wanted to break up to experience other people and try different things. I later found out that she had been talking to someone else.

I do put the blame for this on myself because I wasnt the best boyfriend. I never showed any affection, didnt take her out, started to gain weight, didn't have a job, and none of the little things. Yet she still showered me with affection and always tried to put me on the right track, and I couldn't even let her know how much I appreciated that. Shes always been head over heels for me, and after the breakup it seemed like that girl I knew was gone.

She was going out every night having fun with her new guy, getting to experience the things she never got with me for a while. I realized what I had lost and knew that I needed to get her back. So I stopped sitting around and got a job, switched my life habits, started going to the gym, and ended up losing over 15 pounds now. I tried telling her I'm changing for her and all I was accomplishing so far and all she said was that shes proud but it's too late and that I need to stop taking to her.

So I did just that. Then just a couple days ago she came to drop off my clothes, I had no intention of talking to her, I was just going to take the clothes and leave it at that. But then she said she wanted to talk with me and I went along with it. We starting just talking about everything that had been going on in our lives for the past few weeks.

We were having a great time and laughing ot up just taking about everything, but then she told me the past couple days she was having panic attacks something she has a history of and that she didnt know why. Then once again I try to tell her I can change for her and I just need one more chance yet she still is so insistent that it's not gonna happen. I messed up once again and resorted to the begging and bargaining and then she eventually left and went home. I texted her when she left to tell her I was being stupid, I didnt mean to scare her away, and that if she needed anything she could come to me.

She said she understood and told me thank you, but also told me once again that we need to stop taking. I later found out that she could have gone to see her new guy that night if she wanted to, instead she chose to spend it with me. Since that night I decided to start no contact again and continue on improving myself.

What I'm asking for here is your thoughts on my situation and should I be there for her if she needs it, or should I tell her no. Thanks for the reply in advance. The first contact seemed to have gone well until the begging and bargaining started, to which you might have caused her to withdraw again.

Give things some space, and when you reach out the next time, try to keep your emotions in check and take things a step at a time. For now if she reaches out, you could consider being there for her but remember not to overstep any boundaries and make her uncomfortable. Me and my ex were perfect with each other and rarely argued, not even fighting. When we argued we would talk it out with each other and come to terms with each other. Last week tho she started talking less to me because university had just started and she started going out with friends a lot more.

When I talked to her about this, instead of our usual open to heart discussion she acted more defensive. Then at the end of the week she gave me her answer and asked to break up with me. Not a big deal, right? I agreed to her request when I heard the real reason and we broke up on good terms. And just thinking about her being forced to be with someone from her own culture and sleeping with them makes me sick to my stomach.

Or should I first convince her dad to change his mind and then try to get my ex back by following this guid? It would really depend on how strict her dad would be regarding the culture issue, and whether you think your ex would someday be willing to disregard it and decide that the relationship is more important.

The latter would help in you trying to convince her dad to support her decision, otherwise, you'd be stuck with fighting two battles 1 to win her back and 2 to win her dad over. If she firmly chooses to respect her dad's decision, you might find yourself having a hard time to do either of the tasks and it may honestly be better to walk away.

Hi Ryan, Great material — Hoping you can give me some insight, grab a bag of popcorn. Everything was great Ski lessons, cooking classes and the like , we talked about marriage, moving in and all that good stuff. We were very good together, laughed often and always in contact. Fast forward until 1. She bit and agreed. Come Friday, I followed up with no response until Saturday morning. Heart dropped but I said that was fine and meet anyways.

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She was engaged, making jokes, laughing, reminiscing on old times, talking life with no mention of the current person see is dating. Last 15 minutes, I get into why I came. I told her that I expected my feelings to fade but they have not, we were good together and that while I respect her new situation, if she was ever single again, we would be great together. She said we had good times, thought of me often and that the current thing was not serious and that she would expect to be single again at some point.

I ended coffee and left after hug. On Wednesday I texted saying it was great catching up and seeing her, she said the same back. I am now debating on going all in with a text this weekend stating while I respect her current situation, I think we both are great together and have feelings for each other and I want to give us another chance. I think the new thing is sub 4 weeks old, she agreed to meet with me in light of it, she stated its not serious and maybe single again in the future, stayed for a great 2 hours, was very excited to see me, responded to text a few days later, still is the first to stalk my snaps.

Family issues still there, she is currently dating someone, she is stubborn, I waited over 3 months missing summer and her Bday. That puts us out months broken up on a 6 month relationship. Thoughts on my game plan? Instead of immediately going all in which could backfire drastically should anything not go according to plan , it would be better to perhaps remain on friendly terms first, and fact find a little more about her current situation with her date, as well as to rebuild familiarity and comfort towards you. Hi my name is Daniel but we've been together for two-and-a-half years I can't say I've been perfect but I've shown love respect and on their kids she's still living with me but she's going to sleeping with this guy and staying over there she said that it's over this is fresh and I just read this I did every single thing that you put on there not to do is it too late to start fresh and not do the communication thing which I haven't all day today.

About 11 months ago I signed for my daughter to move out of state with her mother and I never told her and I kept it in now I did tell her and she's like why didn't you tell me before I broke down and cried to her and apologized and she still said it's too late she has feelings for this guy she is a nurse and she used to be his nurse and that's what came in contact.

Spend the time picking yourself up from the breakup first and go into no contact. If she has developed feelings for someone new, the only chance to win her back is if things don't work out between them, or if you come across as the better alternative and to do so would require some changes in your life to become a better version of yourself than before. I met my ex-gf the middle of and things were going pretty good and we were both happy. At we spent months being together at same time preparing for college.

She was the first to leave for school. During our time together she as always hinted that she was afraid of falling for someone else. At some point, she began making suggestions about finding someone to take care of her while she was in school this was rampant that, it stirred number of insecurities within me. During the time we were together she made out with a guy a family friend she felt sorry and told me about it. But the insecurities didnt go away. It drove me into thinking that I was never good enough for her. At the same time I battled great deal of social anxiety which I have worked on.

After she left for college I stopped contacting her for the fear that I wasnt good enough. During the following year i still didn't get in contact with her at the same time I didnt move on. I was sort of stuck, still working on my anxiety. Till i initiated contact and tried explaining myself that I was dealing with things really personal and that I never left her for someone else. My mistake was that I didnt deal with my issues completely, somehow he grew distant. But I'm okay wit whatever happens. I understand why the breakup happened and have realized that it was a huge fault of mine.

I'm in a good place right now and to be honest, I'm texting u just because I miss speaking to you. I don't have a goal or an ulterior motive for texting you. I just want to see what happens" template from your site of course. So there is no coming back for you. We were never meant to be so Just move on. Sorry Forgot to add when we met she 16 and I At this point she could still be going through a phase due to her age, and you might want to consider walking away for the time being to focus on yourself and grow as a person.

Frequencies and phases of life would change rapidly for people around that age, and you should try to reach out and connect with her once again as friends first later on after some changes have been made to your life and you become the person she can visualize being with. She broke up with me because I was still hurt from a past relationship and I was slower moving than she was. We cared deeply for each other, but she has some PTSD that wouldn't let her move on even though I wanted to.

She also said multiple times she couldn't imagine not having me in her life and for me not to disappear. She said we need to take it day by day and time will tell for us. Its been about weeks since the breakup. I did everything to a T. I had no contact, during that time she contacted me. We texted a lot of remembrance texts and finally went out on a great hike the other day.

She said she wanted to go on more hikes if I wanted to and texted me later that is was good seeing me. We had some more text conversations that were good. She's been hanging out with this guy since day 1 of the breakup. They kinda knew each other before. I was very skeptical of them forming something together, but kinda had my mind eased as she said they were joining their freelance businesses and working of a lot of big projects.

Well I just found out two days after the hike that they are seeing each other. Do I have a chance here? Seems like a rebound but high risk if there is a lot of work and money at stake. What do I do now? Ask her if they are a thing then just let it roll off my back like I don't care because I'm in a good place and tell her there is still hurt and its best to not be in contact for a while? People can be irrational when it comes to emotions, disregarding professionalism.

You could let her know that it hurts and go into NC for the time being while they're dating.

When Your Ex Starts Dating Right Away Don't Panic: Here's 4 Reasons Why!

Hi Ryan, I've lived in London with my girlfriend who was from Argentina for the past three years. We had an incredible connection and lived what we both agreed and still do was the best 3 years of our lives, our friends, family all loved what were together.

Part 2: Doing No Contact When She is with Her New Boyfriend

She began to miss her family and country and got the point where she wanted to move back to Argentina to "see how she felt" and whether she wanted to stay in the UK and get married etc, of which I totally understood. So we broke up and she moved away. During the first two months apart, there was a lot of communication between us and I have to admit I became very needy and desperate for her to come back very unlike myself.. It got to the point though where I was just causing sadness in her life as I was upset about her leaving, and she told me she was going to move on..

I think I must have made every mistake in the book! A week after this, I found out she had already met someone else and is moving on. Again, I made a massive mistake by losing my shit when I found out about her being with someone - mainly because she had continued to string me along with hope until the day I heard about the new person, and it really really hurt. She said that when she met this new guy, It made her realise she didn't want to fight for me as she was attracted to him. A lot of the pain lies in the fact that if we weren't born so far apart, we both admit that we would have been together for life.

We were so perfect before this ordeal and I feel my neediness made her fall out of love with me and into the arms of another man. I had never been needy, desperate or jealous once within the relationship. It's been about three weeks now of sparse contact and the last email I sent yesterday was an email to her apologising for my neediness and that I respect her decisions which I actually do and I wish her the best. She sent me an email apologising for her actions and saying I would always be in her heart and that the best memories of her life were with me.

What course of action do you think I should take I keep wondering if I hadn't been trying to convince her to come back, the outcome may have been totally different. You might want to consider several options depending on where you stand and given the circumstances:. Most of this year we were together but I kept her at an arms length and was not committed to the relationship and was honest about it. A few weeks ago we had a blow out where she basically told me she just wanted me to tell her I could guarantee we'd be together at some point.

I told her no relationship is a guarantee but I wanted to work on things. She told me she was going out with friends that night but she would call me when she got off work. She didn't call so I texted her and asked what's up. She texted me back something along the lines of "it's not the right time, i'm sorry, i'll always love you. She text back and said she loves me and hates me so much. I asked her to come home and she said no she was staying out late. Like a stalker, I drove by her house shortly after and she was coming home.

I asked what was going on and she told me she went out with another guy someone she mentioned before but that she came home because she was confused and wanted to figure things out. Long story short, we were kinda sorta together over the past week but I was needy, clingy, etc.

This Friday she said she was going out again and after not hearing from her all night, I drove by her house at 5am stalking again I know and her car wasn't there. Rather than waiting for another lie I texted her that I was hurt and couldn't believe it was so easy for her to leave me for someone she barely knew and that my time with her was the best of my life and goodbye. I realize I just pushed her right into this other guys arms but my question is, do I try and reach out and tell her it will hurt me if she sleeps with this other guys and I'm working on things, or do I just institute no contact?

If I can stop things before she moves forward I want to, but I can see how she just has the desperate image of me stuck in her mind right now. In the meantime, I've been following the advice of the guides and started working on myself and haven't done any more crazy texting, calling, etc. It would be better to initiate NC, as the former idea would probably push her further away because of the impression she may hold over you at this point.

Brilliant article this, pretty much how my ex is behaving, she is moving in with her rebound after two months, I have grew immensely over the two months, would say I'm better than ever on many cases. Only issue I have is she won't contact me back, although I feel like her new guy is stopping that in every way, do you have any advice to get over that part as waiting around is the hardest thing. She did move over from Canada to the UK to be with me, she is also still wearing my previous engagement ring although she has blocked me on everything minus WhatsApp and texting.

Any advice I'd be most grateful. Waiting becomes hard if all you're focused on is actually waiting around, and each day becomes a torture and passes by really slowly. I would suggest putting yourself back out there, for the time being, developing new lifestyle habits and essentially just focusing on yourself. Consider even dating again in the meantime if you feel ready , since she is currently also doing the same and let opportunity present itself before deciding on an action to take. If my ex went to talk to someone new, and I realize that the person has had some small trouble with the law.

And has is seeming lying about some things. Can I, out of concern of possible safety, point that out to my ex? Or is that considered comparing? Your ex might consider it differently from how you intend the message to come across, especially if your ex currently has strong feelings for the new person. Would be best if you could get a mutual friend to relay the message instead of you.

Hi I just came out of nc and my ex is seeing someone. I sent her the elephant in the room text. She did not respond to the text instead she came to the place I live angry at me crying saying that I me ruined everything. I told her I think we need more time apart before we can speak. A week later she unblocks me on whatsapp and when I text her she told me I must go speak to her in person. I want to know how do I approach this? Go along with meeting her in person and decide again based on how she responds to you.

It does seem that she still has feelings for you, but hasn't let go of the past yet to treat you normally. Me and my girlfriend of 5 years broke up after both parts doing wrong stuff. We really loved each other and she would sleep on my house everynight. But dring the last year we stared having some arguments and she did some wrong stuff including messaging his first boyfriend. I wanted to stop being with her but she really wanted to stay with me, appologising and really showing real effort to keep our relationship. The problem was that i never really got over it and started treating her differently and basicly she lost connection and gave up, even with me loving her a lot and showing it too.

She then went on a dinner with her friends and it lead to stop talking to me for days. When i talked with her she said she needed space and she was sorry. Then we talked again and she said she wanted to be with me, but i asked her to fisrt explain what was happening with her because she was not the same and i was desperate and trying everything to be good with her.

That night we had sex and we were really good talking until i flipped and said that i needed to sleep. We talked after and she said again she needed some space to understand everything because she said she didn't know and was feelling really depressed , the thing is that after that I acted too insecure and clingy, she would talk to me and say she lved me and i was her best friend, but she didn't love me as boyfriend like she used to.

I asked her out believe after too much pressure already and she broke up with me. We stopped talking for 17 of june until she texted me asking for sending some numbers she really needed for work. I gave it to her but then acted too needy again stupid she talked and said she was still in my life. I said goodbye and she said we could talk, "why goodbye? On 17 of july. I just found this now because obviously i would not do this stupid mistakes. I believe i still have a chance and now that i read this i feel much good with myself. I need to start NC once again right?

The problem is i that i know she did not get over her ex boyfriend and i believe she will find him on a council party on august. Should i tell her that i don't duel on what happens and what she will do and that i will go NC? Thank you for everything, i believe if i read this on the first week i would be really happy with her, but htat's life ahh. Well, it's always better to realize your mistakes late than never at all.

Go into NC properly, and work on yourself in the meantime, focusing on making yourself happy again. Understand that she didn't completely close the door on you back then, but it might require some time before she would feel comfortable talking to you again after your actions back then during the breakup. The breakup came out of left field for me, despite her protest that there was nobody else involved I have a feeling this guy may have been hovering in the background.

I think this because she had said to me during the breakup that she was angry with me for some things, and she didn't want this one guy at work to flirt with her and for her to think for a second I deserved it - so I think it might be that guy. Which makes me think she let him flirt and maybe things got out of hand and feelings developed. But this is just speculating as I have no hard evidence. It could also be that he's an easy rebound target if he was flirting before, who knows. I'm confused at how she can move on so quickly knowing she wanted so much with us on a couple weeks prior to the break, we had marriage and moving back in together on the table and had been together for 7 years.

I'm coming to terms with it all as time goes on, but there's a part of me that still believes we could've had it all had she not taken the easy way out just because we hit a rough patch. Do you think given the time frame and how this all happened that she has moved on, or had moved on before even the breakup? And has zero feelings left for me?

The last time we spoke she was the one who sent me a text to tell me she was dating someone, she swiftly blocked me as she just didn't want confrontation I suppose. But, I texted her asking to talk and she was resistant to it - said she didn't think anything was on a bad note and is worried that if we forced a conversation for closure it might head that way, and she was "on edge" about talking as the last time we talked things got a little emotional. I dunno, in Kevin's email subscription he mentioned that there is a "missing badly" stage the ex goes through after a month or two, and this phase lasts a while - I'm just not getting that vibe.

I ultimately would like it if things could work out in the future but the more I let time go by the more chance this new thing might be more solidified, but I guess I have no control either way. My main problem here is that - when we broke up she didn't take steps to remove me or block me from anything, she just limited her FB profile etc and we unfollowed each other. She would view my insta stories every now and then etc. When she texted me about this new guy however, she has since taken steps to remove me from everything and privatise her profiles.

To answer your question on whether she has moved on, it would honestly depend on how early on in the 7 years of marriage she began to feel this way about you but usually for a relationship of 7 years, it is unlikely that she has completely moved on. However, that does not mean she has not given up on the relationship a long time ago. Based on Kevin's email, just because someone may think of you or even miss you, does not mean that they will react positively towards you still because these thoughts of you may come in waves but their logical selves tell them not to act upon it.

Also, there's a good chance that this guy may be a rebound relationship after being together with you for so long, and if she is still on edge towards you, space would be a better option as opposed to pressure from your end, resulting in potentially accelerating the speed at which she moves on. Thanks for the reply. I couldn't pin point it myself when she might have begun to feel this way. We weren't without problems, but I didn't think they were huge issues that couldn't be resolved. She was still talking about our future, joint bank accounts, what we'd do with our home and where we might move to etc just two weeks before the breakup, so to me all this doesn't indicate she gave up that long before When we went on our holiday I noticed a bit of distance from her, but when I questioned her she just insisted she was tired from the travelling etc so I didn't question further.

She became protective of her phone, when I confronted her about it she said she had been talking to her siblings about some of our issues, I got the feeling she wasn't as over some of the things we fought about as she lead on. We talked about it again and she again accepted and lead on that it was all well. When the breakup occurred she said she had wanted space and time to figure things out and learn to forgive fully, and said that she was still very much in love with me and that even though we were doing better, that it wasn't where it needed to be for her to think about spending the rest of her life with me so she wanted to figure that out.

This makes no sense to me because if things were better then I don't see how breaking up helps that along. It feels as though maybe she didn't want things to progress to get better due to mixed feelings from this other guy - if he was hovering around her, which seems more likely in hindsight.

I feel like she used old issues as an excuse to bolster her reasoning for looking elsewhere, as there was zero warning for the break and she refused to talk about any of it as if scared of confrontation. I will give her her space, not like I have much of a choice at this point lol. I've made an effort to block her on some social media accounts as it's easier for me not to look that way, but I've noticed she's made another account and has accidentally liked some of my things, would you chalk this up to just curiosity and nothing more?


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It's only normal for an ex to miss the other person after a breakup, her included. Her actions were most probably the result of missing you, getting curious to see how you were doing and thus visiting your profile. However, it usually doesn't mean anything and it definitely isn't a case where she's looking to get back together or would take any further action.

I doubt this is going to work for me. I will shortly elaborate. We were together for 3 years, broke up for 5 months now. We had a phone call a few days ago where she said: I moved on, found someone new and I prefer to not have contact anymore. She would always respond and I've been improving my flaws, however it was all in vain. Do you think there is anything else to do? We study together and I won't see her due to summer for another 3 months. Keep in mind that your changes aren't simply going to get her to jump back into your arms again, and neither is she going to miraculously develop passion for you again.

You're going to have to make an attempt to win her back as if it were the first time you were trying to win someone's heart and treat it as a fresh start. Perhaps at this point, it may not work out since she has told you this, but there's no telling what may happen after the summer break, but only if you're willing to wait it out. If not, it would be better to simply move on. Hi Ryan, So I just came out of a no contact phase with my ex who is seeing someone else. I sent her a short letter about me apologising and briefly mentioning that I have changed my life around and that I would like to see her in person.

Probably to continue giving her space for now, since she does not seem ready to meet you yet. You might also have to wait and see if the current person she's dating turns out to be a rebound or not before making your move in the future. I think i should start from the beginning. Me age 33 and my gf age 29 were together for 3 years and she ended the relationship a month ago because i made her feel bad about herself and was toxic to her.

Yes, we have been talking every day and at the start i was so confused that i paniced and did some stupid moves like begging and trying to talk her back etc. Now lets go back in time. First time was after a year we had been together and the reason was i didnt gave her attention and she hooked up with my friend and lied about that but we managed to get over it. Second time she left me was again after 1 year after we made up and i can say that same thing happened i didnt gave her attention once again , she hooked up with my friend again and then they both lied to me about that when i put the puzzle together.

Once again i was only thinking about myself and didnt notice her and didnt gave her my attention. I know, my mystake. You can see where im going with this. When we got back together i promised to her that im going to change, that ill be new person but i was kind of mad at her in my hart for cheating on me. It was really hard because she lied to me. Time was passing and i did some changes - mainly changed myself to be more friendly with her kids she has 2 children and spending more time with her. I need to mention that we live different towns and i was the one how always visited her.

Mabye she just got bored? Now back yo present day. I dont know if i was still mad at her for cheating me but we had more and more fights. We had one fight every week and that exhausted us pretty bad. I could tell that she changed a bit later until she told me it was over. I can say that i was toxic to her. Now after she dumped me, she is immediately dating. Further more she has told me that she never can be with me again but as we have spoken i could see these little notes shes been telling. Like how she is not shure about loving again, or how she feels that she has failed as a woman.

For the last month after she broke up with me sha has noticed that i had changed, how i talk and what i do. She just keeps telling how sorry she was that i didnt change earlier and how she wishes that i had done all the changes before she left me. One thing ive noticed that after endind relationship she has actually never told me that she didnt love me any more or how she feels about me.

Firstly, you have to keep in mind that no amount of justification makes her actions any more right than your lack of attention towards her. Cheating is something that would definitely take a toll on the relationship if you forgive her and get back together, because there's always going to be a sense of insecurity, self-doubt, trust issues, and resentment towards her for doing so.

All these things translate into your actions which resulted in your toxic behavior. You should honestly consider the possibility of whether you were toxic for her, or if it was actually the other way around and her actions caused you to behave in a toxic manner. Lack of attention is common in a relationship, and it should have been addressed together as a couple instead of her getting bored and cheating on you on more than one occasion , and even lying to you about it after.

Hey Kevin, I been with my ex gf 4 years and 4 months its been great. We are living together for 2 years in college but after i graduated were in semi long distance relationship but I can visit her once a month vice versa. I admit that i begun too comfortable with the relationship not knowing that i did not give her much attention. Before we breakup she confessed to me that she likes someone it's her college crush. They dated 3 times before she told me. I get upset and angry and i said something bad things to her and then she promised that she will never contact the guy and blocked him in all social media.

She told me that she's confused about herself and to the relationship she told me she needed space so that she can fix herself but I keep blaming and threatened her to what she done I begged and pleaded that I will forgive her if she stays. After 2 weeks she visited in our house we talked and there's a lot of drama she cried because of her guilt. I can sense that she's feeling guilty for what she done.

So she decided to broke up with me because she's not ready to be in relationship for now because she knows she can't give her whole heart in the relationship because she like someone else. She told me that she needs time to fix herself and told me maybe someday we can start again so I agreed with her.

I initiated NC but after 1 week I call her that I want her back but she's sorry because she doesn't know herself anymore and doesn't want me anymore. I ask her if she's communicating to the other guy and she said yes.

How To Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back From Her New Boyfriend (Without Looking Desperate)

I get very angry to her to the point that i threatened and blackmailed her and promise her that i will make her life miserable if she will not stay with me. Then she promised she stays and never communicate with the other guy, but I know to myself that I will not be happy if she not happy. So I ask her forgiveness for the things I said and done.

I begged and cried to her to start again but she said no. So I just accepted the breakup and tell her she deserves to be happy. After 2 days I came to her workplace to return some clothes she left in our house and to apologize personally to the threats and blackmailing to her. She also apologize for being selfish making wrong decision. I told her if she wants to contact the other guy she can because it's her choice.

I told her stop blaming herself for the wrong decision she choose and she deserves to be happy. And I hug her and kiss her in the forehead and leave. I been 9 days NC to her. What should I do to stop her for falling to the other guy?


  • Part 3: Healing During No Contact When she is dating someone else;
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  • Can I Get My Ex Back If She's Already Dating? | Love Dignity.
  • Ex Girlfriend Dating Someone New? You Can Still Get Her Back!;
  • Did I ruined my chance of getting her back? Your actions at the end by apologizing and ending things on a positive note may have saved you from ruining your chances after the blackmailing and threats. You're probably going to have to start no contact and give her some space for now. If she wants to date someone else, as you've said its her choice, but once NC ends you can try contacting her again to build up something meaningful again and this would be easier to do given that things didn't end on a bad note. Everytime me and her fought I'd look over and she would be over there telling him everything she should of been telling me so we could make us work, and she always said that the guy was her brother I asked her why she was with him and why we ended, she said because I pushed her away, and he was there and how he never left her like I did It probably is a good thing, but you'll have to be patient about it, especially if she's still together with the other person right now.

    Spend this time working on improving yourself since in her opinion, even though she loves you, the other guy does the relationship 'better'. You'll have to prove to her that you can better that if you want to win her back. This isn't a short one. I am a lesbian. I started having friends with benefits with this girl. She bluntly told me "I will never date you. The whole month of December we didn't really talk. Well she comes back and hits me with another come over and let's experiment type thing. Well before I know it in January we are talking more, she's still seeing others but ultimately I win her over.

    I did absolutely everything to her desire. I honestly worked through it. I was taking care of this girl so well I neglected myself. So we talked that night and came to the conclusion she didn't know what needed to change.. I backed off every way I could. The sex was even amazing she touched me in amazing ways she never had before-she claims it was bc she was impaired we were both very drunk well a couple days later after the trip she gets distant. I flipped when she ended it. I freaked out convinced her to let me come over and talk. I panicked pulled the suicide card, made fool of.

    I still kept friends with her kinda till the semesterended. I was really happy. I unfollow her on social media.. I of course messaged her checked on her etc.. I new I did and I knew what I was doing when I got into it. I just told her where to. I still feel like I'm meant for her and that she's terrified of my love. I gave her my absolute all. I will still do anything for her. I'm suffering every day and it's been like this since mid april.. It could be that because you gave her your all, it could have ended up being the cause of her feeling overwhelmed, especially if she knew that she could not measure up to what you were providing her.

    There's also a chance that while she developed feelings for you over the course of time, it wasn't the passionate kind which was why she felt more interested to pursue other relationships which had a stronger spark factor for her compared to this. Ironically as this sounds, you shouldn't make yourself so emotionally available for her because this puts you at a disadvantage where she has the upperhand to choose at any point whether she wants you or not, and may even end up taking you for granted.

    I was divorced three years ago. I quickly met a woman, we dated for a month and she moved in with me. We were together three years. My divorce screwed with my head, family court burned up my money, child custody fights put me in a bad mood, then I found out I had a heart condition. It was a crappy three years but the new girlfriend put up with all of it until she didn't any longer. Two months ago she broke up with me and quickly found a new boyfriend. He lives out of town but has a toothbrush at her house.

    I don't think he'll move here, and I don't think she wants to leave this town. I'm hoping her new relationship will be over soon. She and I work together every day, we own a business together, we have three years of shared memories, many of them good. Yesterday she invited me over to fix a toilet, move a new washer and dryer into her house, we had a few drinks, watched some tv and talked about business. Last week we went to lunch, went clothes shopping and I put new windshield washers on her car. Her new guy is not handy like I am but I think he's more successful at this time.

    I'm hoping it's just a rebound. She tells me things like "She can't change her mind right now but will continue to think about it" pertaining to us getting back together. She is my best friend, but since the break-up there are obviously many things we don't talk about any longer. Not long ago she was begging me to marry her and buy a new house together, now that I've agreed, she's no longer interested. I have been doing things to better myself and have in fact lost 40 lbs in the last two months through working out and eating a lot less and I'm working harder than I have in years.

    She and I were working on a project together and I had my shirt off just a few days ago and she was pretty impressed that I had lost so much weight. Given the period you've been together with her, it would seem that there definitely is a good chance for you to win her back since 3 years is long enough to have created many lasting memories. The person she's currently dating may be a rebound to fill her time and emotions. I would suggest since you already have to see her daily for work, you could use that opportunity to try and win her back.

    So my girlfriend and I broke up 2 months ago after a 10 year on and off relationship since college. Neither of us have "dated" other people during our breakups as they were usually just for space and only lasted a couple months at most. We have lived together in the past but had to move out because of job related moves. We had some good times and some not so good times in our relationship but nothing out of the ordinary.

    She lives in Philadelphia and I live in Baltimore so we are semi long distance but we still saw each other every week. I had bought an engagement ring which she knows about but was never able to give it to her before we broke up. She told me the reason she was breaking up with me was she needed space and that there were some fights from long ago in our relationship she wasn't over.

    At first i did all the wrong things and was needy and begged for her back and told her how much I loved her which clearly didn't work. I saw her after a month of being broke up and we hung out and hooked up but she said she still did not want to get back together and needed space. At the beginning of May i started no contact.

    It was hard but after 21 days i reached out to her and it was a disaster. She told me we weren't getting back together right now and to give her some space. She said she wasn't sure how she would feel in months but its not gonna happen right now for sure. I asked if she was seeing someone else and she said no but that she had been on some dates. She said she did miss me and wasn't over me but that i was pushing her away by telling her that i still loved her and wanted to be with her.

    Recently I have found out that she is dating a guy she works with and has been sense a little before we broke up. I know who he is and he is younger then her and they do have a lot in common, which i am not sure how to take. I was very upset at first and couldn't believe she could just move on that quickly. I blocked her on all social media and broke off contact but still after a few days of thinking about it, I still want her back. She won't admit to dating this new guy but her family and friends all know she is which is how i found out.

    I know i want her back and i have always thought she is the one for me. We are obviously back on No Contact and we are not friends on social media so i can't show her that I am changing or make her jealous in any way and we don't live in the same city so i can't just happen to show up at the same places as her. I am afraid if i give her too much time and space she will fall in love with this new guy if she hasn't already and i will be gone forever.

    I am following the steps you have talked about but i feel like i have more obstacles to get over then most people. Any help would be great! Encountering these kinds of setbacks when trying to win your ex back is common. Some people take longer than others and face more difficulty, but not all hope is lost as long as you're patient. You should avoid pouring your heart out to her the next time you come in contact but rather rebuild the friendship first before leading it further on if the opportunity presents itself.

    For the time being however, focus on yourself and just do things to keep positive. We have been together for 5 years. Our relationship has ended over money, when the financial situation of both got worse. She told me that she no longer loved me like these old days. I tried to convince her that this was a bad time because of financial problems, but it was not. Now, she is dating someone else, she told me she wants to move on a new relationship to get less stressful.

    We have not contacted for weeks. I believe she is my true love. What should I do to get her back. Keep in mind that just because she is your true love, does not mean that you are hers, especially if she could break up with you over financial reasons. Perhaps think this through on whether you really want to win her back or not, and if you do, keep in mind that you're probably going to have to be financially stable to do so.

    I just want to make sure you're not trying to put out a fire so to speak and make me feel better. Getting back together on those kind of terms didn't work out on that first Christmas from my end. We were broken up and you made a decision for yourself. Choosing not to distract you or myself is me being decisive. She has only gone on one date with this new guy and she wants to go on a date with me. I worry it's out of pity and already let her know that I would give her space.

    She said she still wanted to do stuff together but I'm not convinced it's not for reasons I'd like pity or worry for my feelings. She was deeply in love with me but she doesn't seem to feel like that now even after seeing me cry. It's like she's trying to put out a fire yet keep it genuine. I was thinking I'd let her know I don't need that and I'd give her time like she gave me too much of. Should I start no contact? Yes it would be better to apply no contact at this stage since she might only be lingering around due to habit rather than actual feelings.

    You'll want to re-ignite whatever passion she had lost for you through the correct way or the relationship wouldn't last if she got back with you out of sympathy. She says I could've changed her mind about her making it official with her new boyfriend. She says she thinks about me everyday and I think this is just what's comfortable for her now. I'll have to live with the fact that they are undoubtedly intimate. She can't wait long and that was my main concern.

    I feel vengeful etc.

    Can I Get My Ex Back If She’s Already Dating?

    I'll join some clubs I've been interested in college and try to build my social standings there. I'll go on a few dates and probably fuck around until I feel better. It's questionable what will happen with my ex. I learned about her boyfriend and their being intimate by breaking NC a couple of times. She seemed very unsure of herself and I didn't know how I should handle that. She's honestly submissive and confused enough that I would've been tempted to change her mind then try to fix what we had going with therapy or something. I can't really say it would have been the wrong decision but I'll have a good chance to feel like myself for a bit without being tied down and without being able to turn back.

    I sent her a long letter today. I really just wanted to help her feel like she could know how to get back on track by taking some examples of how i was sorting out my own feelings. I also wanted to get her on the same page. I was unapologetic with my feelings and mostly just categorized my thoughts about the situation going forward for myself and what I was thinking back on from our situation.

    They started out as my personal notes and small ramblings but she's used to reading that kind of thing from me. I got what I needed to across to her and succeeded in making her angry, jealous, and a bit sad. This scenario is especially difficult if you're trying to repair your relationship and get back together with your ex. It can feel like someone stabbing you in the heart, and you may want to quit trying to win back your ex girlfriend altogether Regardless of the reasons behind your breakup -- whether it was initiated by you or by your ex, whether it was messy or very cordial -- it's extremely likely that you have a good chance of getting back together with your ex girlfriend.

    That also includes any scenario involving a new man she's found to replace you. Not surprisingly, your ex girlfriend is probably just as heartbroken as you are about the end of your relationship. She'll do anything to stop the pain, including finding a new man to fill the void that's created by your breakup. But in reality, anyone new she's with in the days and weeks after your breakup is probably a temporary rebound relationship to help her cope with her pain and sadness.

    Yes, it sucks that your ex girlfriend is sleeping with someone else, and that can be ridiculously painful to think about. But here's the good news: Your ex probably doesn't love this man the way she loved you, especially if they've only been dating for a week or two. True love -- the kind that lasts -- takes months and years to form. So, now that we've established that your ex girlfriend's new man is actually not really a "replacement" for you but rather a temporary distraction while she gets over her feelings for you, let's examine why your ex's new man may actually be a good thing for you in the long run.

    As mentioned earlier, your ex girlfriend isn't in love with this guy, and in all likelihood, they're probably not compatible anyway. It didn't take her long to find him or jump into his bed, so there really wasn't much time for her to determine if this guy was right for him. And, chances are, he's not nearly as compatible with her as you were. Sooner or later, your ex girlfriend will come to accept that this new rebound relationship just isn't working and won't be a long-term thing.

    Most rebound relationships end within weeks. When she does end up cutting ties with her rebound man, then the emotions left over from your breakup will hit your ex like a brick wall. All of sudden, with her rebound gone and her sadness back in full force, your ex girlfriend will start to second-guess whether it was a good idea to break up with you in the first place.

    As these feelings of doubt flood your ex's mind, and she has the recently-dumped rebound man to compare you with, she'll inevitably be in a vulnerable and heartbroken state. At this point, if you're still convinced that this is the woman for you, then you can move in and re-establish communication with your ex. It's important not to move in too fast, before your ex girlfriend has time to ponder what she's lost when she broke up with you.