- Should You Date Your Guy BFF? The Pros & Cons | Her Campus
- How many have two-in-one relationships?
- Dating My “Platonic” Best Friend
Having a romantic partner who is also your best friend potentially sounds perfect. With your BFF as your romantic partner, you get the best of both worlds, someone with whom you can laugh, share your life and cuddle. When you look at seemingly happy celebrity couples like Ashton Kutcher and Mila Kunis, or Leslie Mann and Judd Apatow, not only do they appear to be in love, but they also seem to genuinely enjoy hanging out together.
Should You Date Your Guy BFF? The Pros & Cons | Her Campus
How many people feel as though they have attained that type of ideal? And do psychologists confirm this new paradigm is a good one to strive for? I enlisted the help of Monmouth University Polling Institute to investigate. To help figure out how many best-friend couples are out there, we asked adults across the United States the following question: Among adults currently in a romantic relationship, the vast majority 83 percent considered their current partner to be their best friend.
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For those who are currently married, the rate was even higher. Men and women had similar rates, while younger respondents were slightly less likely than older respondents to view their partner as their best friend. The overall numbers from this recent poll dwarf the earlier reported rate of best-friend romantic partners. In a study, only 44 percent of college students indicated their romantic partner was also their best bud.
But expectations for modern relationships have evolved in the intervening years.
We hold our relationships to higher standards than we have in previous decades. In particular, couples now expect their relationships to promote personal growth and help individuals fulfill their own goals. For example, your partner should help you become a better person by teaching you new things like how to make the perfect creme brulee, taking you places like the cool new trampoline park and opening your eyes to new perspectives such as the benefits of eating a more vegetarian-based diet.
Although this expectation for growth could conceivably place an unwieldy burden on your relationship, researchers believe that modern relationships are up to the task. In fact, the idea that a relationship can help an individual become a better person, a phenomenon that researchers call self-expansion , is a useful one; relationships that provide more expansion are also of higher quality.
In order to hit all these self-improvement targets, you may need more from a spouse or romantic partner than was expected in years past — and a partner who is also your best friend may be a step in the right direction. Think of it this way: We wanted to see if these best-friend romances were really better.
How many have two-in-one relationships?
This finding is consistent with research showing that relationships with more companionate love — based on friendship, feelings of affection, comfort and shared interests — last longer and are more satisfying. Other research shows that those in friendship-based love relationships feel they have a highly likable partner, and that shared companionship is an important part of the love. A study of married individuals revealed that those with higher scores on the friendship-based love scale also reported more relationship satisfaction, greater perceived importance of the relationship, greater respect for their spouse, and felt closer to their spouse.
More recently, across two studies with nearly participants in relationships, those who place more value on the friendship aspect of their relationship also report more commitment, more love and greater sexual gratification. In addition, valuing friendship also decreased the chances of the couple breaking up. Best-friend love is starting to sound better and better. All of these benefits are backed up by accounts from a special type of relationship expert: Right, some girls end up with their best guy friend.
In a way, it makes sense: But like any other type of relationship, this kind of romance has its drawbacks.
Dating My “Platonic” Best Friend
Before you decide whether or not you should give him a chance, see what our relationship gurus and other collegiettes have to say about dating your best guy friend. How many siblings do you have? Where did you grow up? The Power of Character Choices , a best guy friend fits the bill. While a girl rarely says no to a romantic dinner or movie outing with a new guy, these dates can carry a lot of pressure with them.
What should you order a burger is too messy while guys sometimes pity the girl who orders the salad? To avoid being complete couch potatoes, treat yourselves to a date night each week. If your friend has feelings for you and you clearly enjoy hanging out with him, why not give it a chance? But be warned, collegiettes: