Dating a shy awkward girl

Shy women face many of the same problems as shy men when it comes to dating
Contents:


  1. Problems Facing Women Who Are Shy And Inexperienced With Men
  2. How to date a shy and socially awkward girl? : dating_advice
  3. How to date a shy, socially awkward girl?
  4. Want to add to the discussion?
  5. Issues that are unique to shy women

If talking is hard for you two at first, then take her to some intertainment. Like a show, movie, exc.. So she will not feel obligated to talk much. This is weird because this is exactly how I act around guys. And no, I'm not socially awkward, I just see low myself when it comes to guys: I say, talk to her, don't ask her out right away.

Then when she gets more relaxed then you should ask her out. She's just shy and you shouldn't give up on her if you really like her: Lol she sounds exactly like me! Yes, she could be shy. I know I am, so when I wanna say hi, I back off. You should take the first step ;. The only opinion from guys was selected the Most Helpful Opinion, but you can still contribute by sharing an opinion! Before you even consider to date a shy girl or befriend her, it's important to understand that people are shy for their own reasons.

Some girls are shy because they have had a bad experience in the past, such as getting bullied for being the "know-it-all" in class while others learned from their parents to never talk unless spoken to. Some girls are also more shy around boys, especially if they've never had someone interested in them before.

Knowing that there are multiple reasons to why people are shy will allow you to understand and be patient with the girl you're wanting to get to know and potentially date. Being too straightforward and pushing her to talk will only make her feel pressured and less likely to feel comfortable around you. The most important thing to remember is that it takes time for a shy person to open up and feel comfortable around someone new.

Problems Facing Women Who Are Shy And Inexperienced With Men

The key to dating a girl who is shy is simply to make her feel comfortable. If you can make a girl comfortable around you, you're well on your way to being able to ask her out or have her ask you out! One of the easiest and most effective ways to get a shy girl to be comfortable around you is to make her laugh and be goofy around her. Let her know that you're the biggest goofball between the two of you. This will make her feel comfortable because she'll be able to forget how shy she is and let go of any pressure she feels in trying to make conversations or worrying if she's making a fool of herself.

If you're not a person who is naturally goofy or outgoing, it's also helpful to just take your time and not notice or care about her awkwardness or shy tendencies. Over time, she'll begin to feel better around you because her fears of not knowing what to say will go away. Being patient and not forcing her to talk will allow her to become confident and feel like what she has to say will be important. If you really like this girl, it's easy to just ask her questions about what she likes or what she thinks of things. This takes the pressure off of her so she's not worried about not knowing what to say.

This will also give her a point in the conversation where she knows it's okay to talk and where she knows you want to know what she thinks about something. Just be sure to not pester her with too many questions, especially if she seems to become more shy and withdrawn. If you know what she's into, that's an easy way to start talking to her, especially if you both share a common interest, such as art or music. One of the sure fire ways to make a shy girl feel uncomfortable is to bring up how she's shy or mention how she's not talking.

It might be frustrating at first, but by constantly pestering her and telling her how shy she is. Among shy people, being called shy is one of the most irritating observations you can point out because shy people already know they are shy. Pointing it out just draws more attention to the fact. Chances are, if she's shy, she's an introvert and she may need time to herself every once in a while to feel better. If she doesn't feel up to going to a big party with you, don't make her feel bad about it chance are she'll beat herself up about it more than you will.

Getting over shyness and wanting to be a part of your life, in your social life and hanging out with friends is going to be a huge change. If you push her too far, she may end up withdrawing from you and feel like she's not good enough or can't talk to people anymore. When trying to know whether a girl is interested in you, a shy girl can be one of the trickiest to figure out. An easy way to know if she's into you is to see how she reacts over time to you.

If she starts to not be so shy around you, there's a good chance that she likes you. In order for her to consider dating you, she has to feel comfortable around you and want to spend time with you. The first encounters will more or less be her thinking about how she doesn't know what to say. This can be really stressful as the more she feels like she can't talk or doesn't know how to keep you interested the more pressure she'll feel and more shy she will get.

How to date a shy and socially awkward girl? : dating_advice

This is why being goofy and making her laugh will help her feel more comfortable as she will be able to not feel the pressure having to talk. As you continue to become her friend or show interest in her, she may begin to start wondering what you still are interested in liking her. Depending on what kind of shy girl she is, she may have never considered someone like you would like her. There may come a time when she'll bring this up with you.

It's important at this time to understand where she's coming from and not brush aside her feelings.

How to date a shy, socially awkward girl?

Shy people often have a hard time dealing with and getting over being shy, so if she's willing to open up to you and share her feelings, be sure to listen and let her know that you don't care that she is shy. Depending on the girl, you may actually find that she is not as shy as you thought she was. In this case, you may be surprised when she asks you out herself or starts dropping hints about how she wants to spend more time with you. If this doesn't happen with the particular girl you're interested in, or you become to not being able to stand not knowing if she would like to go out with you, you'll want to consider how best to ask her out.

Much like when you ask her out, it's a good idea to go somewhere where there's not a lot of people around, or people she knows. Showing any form of affection, at least at first, in a public setting will probably make her a little shy and awkward. The ideal first date would be somewhere where you can spend time along, without the pressures of anyone around to make her feel more nervous. Going for a walk, a state park or a quiet diner are all good ideas. Also, be sure that the first time you two hold hands or kiss again this depends on how shy she still is would probably be best if it happened with just the two of you around.

Moving too fast could cause her to become shy around you again, setting you both back in the relationship you were building. It's best to move slowly or ask if she's comfortable if you're unsure of whether or not she's ready for holding hands or to go to a movie. This is usually helpful in young relationships in middle school or high school where everyone is getting a feel for dating.

Again, it really depends on how shy the girl is and her reasons for being shy.

6 Things Guys Think Are Attractive About Shy Girls!

She may open up to you quickly or she may remain very shy with you for a long time. Be sure to keep in mind that this relationship will take a long time to develop. If you move too fast, she may end up not knowing how to deal with the situation.


  • How to Date a Shy Girl (with Pictures) - wikiHow!
  • How to Date a Shy Girl | PairedLife.
  • Problems Facing Women Who Are Shy And Inexperienced With Men | ibohyhozeq.tk.
  • Most Helpful Guy?

This can lead to her avoiding you, not answering your phone calls or lying about stupid things in order to try to keep you away. These are signs that you're going to fast or that she's not into you. Dating a shy girl is not much different than dating any other girl, except for that fact that you'll have to spend a lot more time making sure she is comfortable and that you're not moving too fast. The first few months or weeks depending on the girl will be slow until the girl starts opening up to you.

After she does this, you'll soon find out more things about her and will probably figure out why she was so shy in the first place. Just be sure to relieve any of the pressure she'll be feeling of overcoming her shyness and show her your support and love. This is key in dating a shy girl and maintaining that relationship. Be open with her and honest and she'll do the same with you.

A quick note from personal experience: I've actually found that certain people just make you feel more comfortable than others. If holding someone's hand or being close to them causes either of you any discomfort or makes you nervous, you may want to consider if this is the right person for you.

I've had one boyfriend who I never could feel comfortable around thankfully it ended and another boyfriend who I felt instantly comfortable around. There's no point in forcing any relationship if you're not happy or comfortable with it. It may seem like a bad note to leave on, but there are "plenty of fish in the sea" and the one person who does make you feel comfortable and loved may just be out there waiting for you.

Sign in or sign up and post using a HubPages Network account. She's not laughing at my jokes because she's stuck up like all pretty girls", "She'd never want to be friends with me. I'm just an average looking bookish girl. She's like all those catty popular girls from high school. If a woman isn't considered that physically attractive, her shyness will be reinterpreted as well, but this time in light of a different of unflattering stereotypes "She's not talking because she's weird and anti-social and mad at the world".

This isn't so much a practical issue as an attitude that can make a shy woman feel their concerns are dismissed or misunderstood. The belief is that since men are expected to initiate romantic relationships, and to do the work of easing any of the woman's initial hesitation or anxiety, shy women don't have to work as hard to overcome their issues. They can just sit back and wait for men to come to them, then let him do everything to move the relationship forward. They get to be the choosers, sorting through the platter of men that are presented to them, and rejecting the ones that don't meet their standards.


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Even if a woman is really awkward, enough guys will still attempt to get with her, and will persist in the face of her shyness that she'll end up in a relationship before long. Also, there's a belief that shyness is seen as a major flaw in men, but endearing, even desirable, in women.

Maybe this is true, and women on the whole technically have it easier. However, when you're a lonely shy woman who's never had a boyfriend and hasn't had any romantic prospects for the last two years, the fact that you have it easier in theory isn't very comforting. Shyness towards dating can be a real problem for some women, and some aggregate advantages don't automatically cancel that out for them.

On the link below you'll find a training series focused on how to feel at ease socially, even if you tend to overthink today.

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It also covers how to avoid awkward silence, attract amazing friends, and why you don't need an "interesting life" to make interesting conversation. Click here to go to the free training. This is a sub-belief of the general idea that women have it easier. Often you'll hear this statement made by men, many times ones who are struggling with dating themselves and are a bit resentful at the seemingly better hand women have been dealt. My personal opinion is that this belief reflects men projecting their own attitudes towards sex and dating onto the other gender, and failing to realize that some women may not have the same priorities as them.

You've probably heard it before, "Even guys with a lot going for them often have to put in the work and face a lot of rejection to get a girlfriend or get laid. But even for an unattractive girl all she has to do is go to a bar any night of the week and stand around and be approachable and she'll be guaranteed to be able to hook up with someone. The idea that shy women can solve their inexperience issues by just sitting back and letting the guys come to them doesn't always pan out in reality, for all kinds of reasons: As I mentioned, if a woman is really shy or inexperienced, then even if interesting guys approach her, her shyness is going to get in the way of the interaction going anywhere.

There are women who get approached by men quite often, but this doesn't happen to everyone. Some women hardly ever have guys come talk to them. They feel chronically overlooked and like a sexual non-entity in the eyes of men. Women often complain that they only get approached by men they would never be interested in, like pervy older guys at the grocery store, or cocky meatheads at the bar who are obviously just looking for sex.

This is a particular problem for shy women who are into guys who are more quirky or sensitive or intellectual, since those types of men typically tend not to be as aggressive about approaching people. A woman's lifestyle will have a big impact on how often she gets approached. A sorority member who works as a waitress and who goes clubbing a lot will likely get a lot of attention, since she's always out around people. A woman who's more of a homebody and who hates bars isn't going to get nearly as many opportunities for people to chat to her.

Rightly or wrongly, many women dismiss the idea of meeting someone at a bar, or through a stranger approaching them, out of hand. They want to meet people under different circumstances, like through friends. Many women aren't interested in just sleeping with anybody for the sake of having sex, or are not into one-night stands with strangers.

So the idea that they can technically get laid at will doesn't appeal to them. They're looking for a more serious relationship with someone who likes them as a person, and want to get to know someone before they get physical. In particular I find some guys have trouble accepting this point.

Issues that are unique to shy women

Because they personally are fine with casual sex, or are feeling desperate to hook up with anyone half-decent just to get rid of their nagging inexperience, they can't imagine how someone else wouldn't value these things. A lot of women have understandable safety concerns. They're not willing to go home with someone they just met, because they don't know if the guy will be dangerous or not once they're not in public. This is another thing I find some guys have trouble fully comprehending, since they take a lot of their safety for granted. For some women, if they get approached a lot, but the attention is unwanted and aggressive and harassing, it may make them even more nervous and guarded around men than before.

A bigger issue with the 'let people come to you and choose from the applicants' approach is that it takes away a lot of a woman's ability to choose who she ends up with. What if she's really interested in a particular guy, but he hasn't noticed her and isn't likely to? If she doesn't have the ability to engage him then she'll miss out on that chance.

A problem some shy women report having is that they're able to find boyfriends, but the guys who typically take the initiative to try to date them aren't the ones they're really into. A shy woman's self-confidence may not be great and she feels she has to take whatever comes to her. This belief follows from the two above about how supposedly easy it is for women to have success with relationships. It isn't so much articulated out loud by people as it is something they just assume. There are women in their mid-twenties and older who are totally dateable and attractive to an outside eye.