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Originally Posted by losangelena.
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Originally Posted by Redhead Well, do you know what his job schedule looks like? If so, he's going to be very tired during the week for sure. Some people don't really like texting either. I'd say once a week dates is a good start for 5 weeks. I'd give it a little more time. If after 3 months, he's not upping things, you'll have to have a talk with him.
But don't be confrontational. Just say you like him, you enjoy his company and then tell him what you are hoping for for yourself with someone at some point. See how he responds. I understand what you are saying, but I suppose my thoughts about dating are a little more traditional.
I let the man lead in the beginning and see how much effort he puts into dating me. I think its a good indication of how much he likes me and how proactive he is I don't want a man who is too lazy to plan a date. So far he has been really good. He's planned all our dates except the one I asked him out on. I think I will give him a chance at least. I was thinking of having a talk with him and saying that I'm not sure what he's looking for but I am looking to eventually date and be in a relationship with someone, that I want to see him more often and that I like getting texts etc What should I say?
Some women would be totally fine at this pace or this amount of contact. It could totally be this guy, by the way, but at this point he's just unaware because you haven't said anything. I think sometimes we just assume that someone will know how we want to be communicated with, but that's not always true.
My therapist has told me this because I struggle with the same thing: You say you want to be with someone who is committed, who will see you more than once a week, and is in touch more often. You say, "I love to text or talk everyday" and see what he says. If he's like, "I hate texting, I don't want to do it all the time," then maybe you two aren't so compatible.
How To Tell If You're Dating, Seeing Each Other, Or Just Hooking Up
If he says, "oh I had no idea," and then picks up the pace, then great. It's normal to have them! Yes I know he does work long hours actually I suppose I am maybe feeling insecure. I guess what I want is more validation. And I also want to make sure that I like him more before we become serious and I make an investment, which I feel I can only come to know if we see each other more frequently. By 3 months I think we should already know if we are sort of semi serious or not no? Wow you are so lucky that your man does that for you My guy has planned most of our dates, but they havent been any crazy.
I feel awkward about this stuff and he's quite a passive guy. So for example when we went for icecream I ordered first and then the woman asked if our order was together, so I said yes not to be rude and paid since I was first in line I guess my whole issue with this guy is that maybe he is just too passive for me in general, on initiating dates, on showing affection for me. I think you might be right I think i've given this guy a good shot. I'm going to speak to him this week and let him know how I'm feeling on the off chance that he is trying to take it slow.
He deserves a chance to react after knowing how I feel.
However, it's just too slow for me and I'm losing interest fast. I see the potential in him though and the thought of going back into the dating game is a bit exhausting to think about at the moment, haha. But if this is all there is, I'll take my chances out in the wild again for something that is more what I want. I would say 5 weeks is about the right time to be seeing each other more than once a week.
How Often Should You See Someone When You First Start Dating | Personal Space
If that's not coming naturally then it may be time for the "where we're going" chat. Originally Posted by Ruby Slippers. Nevermind the whole texting issue for a second, if you are feeling lukewarm, I don't think it's a good sign. It shouldn't always be the guy that does all the initiating. I actually lose interest very fast when a girl does this. Many people misinterpret intense affection and attraction over a short amount of time as compatibility.
The easiest way to fake compatibility is to come on strong, quickly.
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What would be the best way to shorten that time from 5 weeks to say, 1 week? Go on 5 dates in a row, obviously. If you work odd hours, your schedule changes every week, or just have a ton of side projects going on like me! Once you move past those early dates toward dating more seriously, the frequency is up to you. I think if you looked at all of my dating history, excluding the one woman I lived with, I averaged something like days a week with my partner if I was in a relationship, and days with someone if we were still in that early dating phase.
A lot of those were 1. To wrap it all up: It depends upon the people too. I remember during my pre-marriage counseling my husband said we do not need to be together all the time, my counselor said he was right.
This is different than how I grew up where my parents were always together, always. They worked and played together.