- Can borderlines and narcissists have healthy relationships?
- Are You Dating a Narcissist or a Borderline? | The Impact of Sex Addiction
- Are You Dating a Narcissist or a Borderline?
- Narcissistic And Borderline Attraction
The problem begins when the animal begins to walk away…. This is great example of borderlines telling themselves lies. What planet are you living on where borderlines only start cheating and lying and abusing their partners when their partner wants to leave them? You do realise that all those terrible things you described your Ex girlfriend doing can be found in abundance in borderline women right? But even if that were actually true it would still be absolutely delusional or incredibly ignorant if you think that those with borderline personality are the way you described.
If I were to make your analogy more accurate. It would be like befriending an an animal and initially treating it very well. Then after a while you get bored of it but still keep it around, but you start to hate and resent it. You start to hurt it and get angry with it, but you flip back and forth to keep it confused and unsure what to think. Over time you increase the abuse which it learns to accept as normal and so desperate for that love it saw at the beginning that they look forward to the smallest displays of affection.
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How are yu coping with this now that you know would love to talk to you. Cerebral narcissist, covert narcissist, malignant narcissist, invert narcissist. If you listen to endless numbers of people describing narcissist and borderlines and not be able to tell the behaviours apart, then the reason for the distinction becomes arbitrary. BPD should be, and is, just another form of narcissism. Where BPD should be seen as a sub category where not all narcissists are borderlines, but where all borderlines are narcissists. I have to correct something in this article.
The classic narcissist still hates themselves, just as the borderline does. The borderline has a similar cognitive dissonance. This is instead usually expressed as a more conscious feeling of worthlessness. They require validation to show they are worth something and make that empty feeling go away. Just like the classic narcissist, the borderline also only cares about attaining their supply of validation.
And if people are still going to disagree with this, the fact that you find a consistent pattern with all stories of npd and bpd behaviour that prove this to be true disagree with you. But I bet the truth is more likely one of two things. I do not believe they are a disorder so much as a naturally reoccurring and intended personality type — we are humans — but still quite animal. Yet still the most glaring aspect — most animals, especially humans, need structure….
Can borderlines and narcissists have healthy relationships?
I have to say the world would be much much less interesting without these people…and quite honestly much less of a world considering the accomplishments of those who do not allow others limits to impede them. As a woman I am fascinated by the rigid arrogant way a surgeon carefully performs massive alterations to other people in a believe they can save their life or improve upon their beauty….. A personality disorder hence the word disorder requires impairments in various areas of life.
The asshole narcissistic surgeon is not NPD unless, for example, he suddenly decides he will do brain surgery for a patient despite not being qualified to do that. Or status showing up to work drunk. I absolutly agree…there seems to be a belief that if you dont have the same values and capabilities as someone who has a psychology degree then you have a disorder…that needs to be treated.
I also have a partner with Borderline Personality Disorder amd Anorexia who had become hooked on Meth for many years…my view of her was pretty much as per the book with periods of mania and the drugs and Anorexia was her mechanism to remove the lows and anxiety. She is very smart and plays the therapists she has seen like puppets to get what she wants…the drs have always tried various medications that have failed because they see the mania as a problem…the dont seem to see the obvious issue with treating it, in that its like she has been watching 4k TV with surround sound and dining out at the finest restaurants and they are trying to get her to listen to an AM radio with a peanut butter sandwich.
She has developed a trust with me because I dont see these things as a disorder but a beautiful tallent. When she starts to see the world in an anxious state of mind…we have a cuddle, I tell her how amazing she is, stroke her and calm het down…we then have sex…mind blowing lying there with your head spinning, oh wow, what just happened sort of sex and then cuddle and feel like we are both lucky…anxiety: The more submissive she is…the happier she is, im no sadist dominant guy etc.
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But happily step up to a more dominant male role we both know she has all the power ha ha…its just her way of delegating and stroking the delicate male ego. I am at the top of my profession, a company director, highly innovative etc. And am considered to have a very high IQ and EQ….
I have children who ars well balanced and high performing in school…confident with great empathy …so yea its a terrible disorder I am suffering from! I am clearly not the greatest typist on my phone…and spelling …OK ill give you that one two. It appears you are validating this type of behavior. I do not believe NPD and BPD are bad people they like everyone else have good and bad and thats life if you choose to see it that way. But i believe the article is talking about how people with such disorders treat themselves and others they come into contact with.
I do not believe such people are the ones that make life interesting and to believe such is what interests life is a measure of how indifferent and less caring the world has fallen. This condition is real and it appears from your response that you are validating something that one either cant, are unwilling to take responsibility for and are unwilling to change not because one cant but because its just easier to convince everyone else that red is blue and the rest of the world is blue so just be blue when really its still red….
My business, my children, all friendships, and almost my sanity and life. Or was… I was raised tough by strick military parents on a base in Germany for 15 years. Beaten into my being from birth were the American Christian values of God, Country, morals, values, honor and respect… The essence of right versus wrong are ingrained in my process and procedurally focused mind. Events in life are right or wrong, there is no grey! You may not know what normal is.
Are You Dating a Narcissist or a Borderline? | The Impact of Sex Addiction
You may have grown up in households with unhealthy models—sometimes even abuse. So before talk about the high conflict relationship, let's take a look at what defines a healthy relationship and compare and contrast it with your current relationship. Of course, no relationship is perfect. But it's helpful to know where you stand and what you're shooting for.
Are You Dating a Narcissist or a Borderline?
A list of what makes for a good relationship could be quite lengthy and might differ from couple to couple. But here are some characteristics mentioned over and over by marital therapists. Ask yourself what's important to you and whether or not your current relationship meets your needs on a scale of 0 not there at all to 5 high. This isn't a quiz; just something for you to think about as you look at the whole relationship. In a healthy relationship, couples need to make compromises. But neither partner should ask the other one to change things about themselves central to who they are or what they want out of life.
Respect is also about treating each other in the way you'd like to be treated, even when you're angry and frustrated. Other signs of respect include caring about the things that are important to your mate and recognizing that differences are OK. In a healthy relationship, partners are there for each other with warmth and affection through both good times and bad.
Even when their opinions differ, supportive spouses try to see things from their partner's point of view.
Without keeping track on paper and pencil, people in workable marriages attempt to be there equally for each other. Otherwise, partners can get burned out.
Honest, direct communication is a key part of any relationship. The ability to share your thoughts, feelings and desires in an open and honest way are essential to the level of intimacy and connectedness the two of you share. People are not born knowing how to best communicate and send the right non-verbal signals. It's a skill that can be learned like any other—if the two people are willing to learn. Honesty leads to trust, which leads to feelings of safety, probably the most important ingredients in a happy marriage.
Trust paves the way for the confidence to share your feelings, emotions, and self with someone else. He has been an expert witness in court proceedings and a consultant to educational, mental health, corporate, and governmental organizations. He is often featured on national news media, as a keynote speaker for professional conferences, and periodically offers his Midas Complex workshops around the country. He lives in Topanga Canyon, California with his wife and two children. For more information or to contact please visit: Find Help, Get Better, and Move On Without Wasting Time or Money and is licensed in addiction and psychotherapy with over 25 years experience as well as a consultant to organizations and companies in the fields of mental health and addiction.
He is the executive director of an outpatient behavioral health program. Learn more about Richard here. Or via RSS Feed. Find help or get online counseling now. Therapy Soup About the Blog Archives. Aaron Kipnis Individuals with borderline personality disorder and narcissistic personality disorder may marry or enter into intimate relationships with each other, more than statistically likely, it seems.
Narcissistic And Borderline Attraction
How did you first notice this type of pairing? Narcissistic And Borderline Attraction. Retrieved on January 17, , from https: Hot Topics Today 1. Catfishing; Avoid this Fishy and Catchy Addiction. Is It An Excuse? Are You Uncomfortable Getting Gifts? I believe my mother was a narcissist, and my twin sisters. At one time or another I have given them gifts,