- How to Love a Married Man: 8 Steps (with Pictures) - wikiHow
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Nov 23, , What does dating a married man and devouring hot chocolate fudge have in common? Both taste devilishly good, but both are sinfully bad! Yet, what is it about a married or the so-called 'committed' man that attracts women? Is it the thrill of being the 'other woman'? Or just the promise of love?
Dr Kamal Khurana, a marriage and relationship counselor explains, "Women who fall for married men are usually seeking attention and emotional support. Since married men seem to be more experienced and mature, they get attracted towards them. Owing to their experience, married men understand the emotional needs and desires of women better than their single counterparts.
If you have convinced yourself that his family would never come to know about it, think again.
If they do, you would have to deal with the guilt of inflicting emotional pain on his spouse and kids, besides hurting yourself. It's important to consider that there are many people involved in your relationship, than just the two of you. Also, dating a man who's married may entail many restrictions such as not being seen in public places together or being with him only when he can find free time away from his family or sneak out and meet you.
Even more difficult can be living with the bitter truth that you are sharing him with his wife. Samvedna Thakur name changed on request , 27, who works in an advertising agency in Delhi claims, "I have been dating a married man for the last two years. We work in the same office. I've tried to break up with him several times but have failed in doing so. I am aware of the consequences if his wife finds out about our relationship.
I also know that I am his second priority, but I am so emotionally attached to him that I'm not even being able to find an eligible man for myself and get married. We have been together for a year. Recently, he confessed to me that he's married and is not happy with his present relationship. He said he doesn't want to cheat on me, but can't divorce his wife either. I've been trying to forget him since then and call off the relationship, but I am not being able to do so.
Arvinder Singh, a psychotherapist and consultant says, "There is usually a lot of guilt associated with such relationships. So, when you are in a relationship with a married man, it's important to analyse the emotional need that the man is being able to satisfy. Then see if you can get it elsewhere, apart from the married man. It's important to have a support system, otherwise it can be even more damaging for the woman as it could be emotionally taxing.
An important question that you need to ask yourself is - 'Why is he in a relationship with you despite having a family? It is important to evaluate and assess the benefits and drawbacks of such a relationship. You may be hoping that your man will leave his family for you so that you both can live happily ever after Assess whether the man you are dating is pursuing the relationship because he loves you or he just because he wants to take advantage of you.
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Poonam Tiwari name changed on request , 34, who works with a multi-national company in Noida adds, "I am in love with a married man who has a son. I am married too and have a daughter. Mine was an arranged marriage, but after a year, lot of differences started creeping into our relationship. I met this man though a common friend and realised that he was the one for me.
How to Love a Married Man: 8 Steps (with Pictures) - wikiHow
Being a wife and a mother, it isn't correct on my part to be dating a married man and giving up on my marriage, but I think our ultimate goal in life is to be happy, isn't it? What's the use of being in a relationship that gives you pain and suffering? The emotional turmoil While some women dating married men may find happiness eventually, most of these relationships end up leaving you feeling lonely, used and neglected.
A relationship exists because of mutual trust and commitment. In extra-marital affairs, you can't expect to get any of these. Most women know it by instinct, but not surprisingly many fall for it. You may find yourself alone more often than you'd like because his family will always come first. Moreover, if he is cheating on his wife to be with you, what's going to stop him from cheating on you? Marriage is considered the ultimate depth of love, and proof positive that your mate is irrevocably and unconditionally admirable of you and will be with you until the end of all time.
While this is a valid interpretation of marriage, the worth is only as valuable as the individuals embarking upon this type of commitment.
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If the level or depth of the aforementioned elements is superficial, this type of commitment will not have an everlasting bond. A married man who is involved with another woman, sexually, emotionally, or in any way not in accordance with their marriage vows, is, in fact, not married emotionally. Marriage is a sacred decree, emotional , in which two individuals declare, in accordance with Gods law, their commitment and love for each other.
A wedding physical is a ceremony in which two individuals declare before family and friends their commitment and love for each other. Once the man violates the decree emotional , he is merely a participant in a wedding ceremony physical. Consider whether you and he believe in monogamy. There is also a real possibility that we all, both men and women, can love more than one person in a deep way at the same time. This can be reinforced if all parties are open and honest with this type of situation. Be prepared for the challenge.
Truthfully, single men can cause more drama, detriment, and unnecessary pain in your life, if their intentions are not admirable. Which oftentimes, they are not. They can mislead you for months, even years, and leave you bewildered and confused as to why they won't commit, want just a "booty call", or friends with benefits. With a married man you know he has attempted to be in a committed, monogamous relationship, and is probably a good father, provider, and a great lover, all of which we as woman consider great traits and secretly desire in a man.
Above all, be discrete. It should go without saying that having an affair with a married man is something you'll generally want to avoid. To be perfectly clear, having an affair with a married man is an easy way to ruin multiple lives, including your own. However, if it's too late to prevent, you can still do your best to ensure the affair does as little damage as possible to your life, your paramour's life, and his family members. The best way to do this is to take measures to ensure that no one ever discovers your affair in the first place.
Below are just a few examples of ways to keep your secret love affair a secret: Only contact your lover via secure channels of communication secret cell phones are a good bet and only when you're positive he's alone. Never flaunt your relationship. Don't tell anyone - even your friends. Don't even make veiled hints or references to the relationship. Don't spend time with your lover in public.
You have no way of knowing when or where you'll run into someone who knows him. Define the terms of the affair from the outset. To avoid unnecessary heartbreak which is a possibility regardless of how well you conceal your affair , you'll want to make sure that you and your lover are absolutely clear on the boundaries of your relationship as soon as possible.
For instance, you may want to consider setting some of the following limits: Neither lover will ever ask the other to compromise their relationship with their real partner in any way. Neither lover will ever try to move the relationship in a more serious direction. Both lovers will have the right to end the affair at any time.
Keep feelings of jealousy in check. When it comes to affairs, envy is a recipe for disaster. If you're a married man's secret lover, you absolutely must be okay with him spending the majority of his time with his wife and family. If you can't come to terms with the fact that you're the other woman, an affair is probably an even worse idea for you than it would normally be. Never, ever, ever let your jealousy get the better of you. If you're about to make a drastic decision out of anger or jealousy, try waiting one day before you act. Never act without giving yourself a chance to cool down and consider all the consequences of your actions.
Don't be a home wrecker. When it comes to affairs with married men, this is the oldest piece of advice in the book.
Having an affair with a married man is a very bad thing to do, but destroying his family is even worse. Mistresses should stay very, very far away from their lover's home, his family, and especially his children. Don't ever allow yourself to come into contact with your lover's family or try to position yourself between your lover and his family.
This advice is as much in your own self-interest as it is in your lover's, as, if you attempt to interfere with his family, you're essentially forcing him to choose between you and his wife, which may end badly for you to say nothing of the damage his family might experience. I have a relationship with a married man, but he is my neighbor. I want to stop my relationship with him, but he does not agree.
What can I do? He does not have to agree. It takes two people to be in a relationship. Tell him it's over and you're not going to change your mind. Not Helpful 1 Helpful I have been in a relationship with a married man for the past 7 years. His wife and family are well aware of it and they are okay with it. When he spends time with his family, I'm left alone.
What should I do? That's really up to you. If you think you'd be happier finding someone who can fully commit to being in a relationship with you, you should do that. If you're really happy with this guy and you don't mind that you're always going to come second, you should work on making your life more fulfilling outside of this relationship. For example, when he's with his family, you could be hanging out with friends, taking part in a hobby, going to the gym, taking a class, etc. Not Helpful 2 Helpful What are the signs that he is cheating on me even though I am his mistress?
The same things he does with you to stray away from home to cheat on his wife is more than likely the exact same things he'll do to stray away from you to cheat in your relationship. Not Helpful 6 Helpful I hooked up with a guy who he said was single but once we caught feelings and things got serious he confessed to being married and begged me not to leave him. What do I do? Honey, he lied to you from the beginning. Break up with him. Not Helpful 11 Helpful It's probably just lust. But then again, who's to say what's in a person's heart? Sometimes we marry the ones we don't love.
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Not Helpful 32 Helpful You can ruin your professional relationship. There may even be company rules forbidding relationships. You would also likely become the subject of office gossip. Not Helpful 10 Helpful What do I do if I was having an affair and the married man leaves me?
Accept his decision and move on. This one of the unfortunate consequences to dating a married man. I'm in love with a married man and I really want to respect his marriage, but my feelings tell me to do otherwise.