Dating a smart girl is lit until

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  1. 162 Good Questions to Ask a Girl – Spark great conversations.
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  4. 55 Things To Talk About With Your Crush - Spark a connection!

I ended up in a miserable office job at a talent agency, dating a verbally abusive, post-peak actor. Charming would be a stretch. I guess he had a twinkle in his eye, I could maybe give him that. Better than nothing was my sole criteria for dating him, until nothing actually turned out to be way better. What if the nicest guy ever had come along and he happened to be super wealthy and we lived in some Upper East Side penthouse and went to black tie fundraisers every other night? But the only dealbreaker I thought I ever really had besides physical abuse was smoking, and when I finally fell in love, I broke it.

I have never been grabbed by the pussy. But what it shook out of me were some next-level insights about my personal history. More often though, in my case, many of these offenses were seemingly subtle enough as to not initially appear offensive at all. Worth noting that they were mostly not writers. I have showed up, willingly, for these liasons that were so often set up in ways that benefitted the man: I have told myself, time and again, that my power was in making the choice to show up or not, but if it were that simple, if I had the confidence of my actress girlfriend, I might have chosen not to show up at all.

And that I had not made that better choice, often, had a tendency to linger in my mind in perpetuity and to expand far beyond reasonable proportion. Hannah challenges the famous writer dude, as I always did as well. The writer makes his points and she makes hers, and when he asks her to explain what she thinks is in it for these women, there was one line in particular that got me: This would be plenty heady enough, but as often as not, each compliment genuine or not, may not really matter comes with a subtraction, a parallel comment or insult often sufficiently cloaked so as to undermine your entire sense of self, if not immediately, soon enough.

And I did get more than a few short stories out of these guys, most of whom I met long before I had a notion to write short stories at all. Many of them were one kind of artist or another.

162 Good Questions to Ask a Girl – Spark great conversations.

I was more interested in the specifics of character then—look at the exact crazy way this guy is a jerk! Further complicating these relationships: I could see these guys for what they were, and I took a ridiculous sort of pride in this, but I made those choices to go forward with my free will. A significant part of my own deal is that for so long I just never really knew how smart I was. That my parents had been straight-A students with multiple graduate degrees between them was relevant only to highlight what an intellectual failure I was. And so if I was paid mind by people I considered smart, I was less likely to think it mirrored my own intelligence in any way than I was to question why they were even hanging around me.

Everything was in place, well before my fateful east side brunch, for me to find myself in this kind of dynamic again and again and not have any idea why I let it go on as long as I did. On one of the last first dates I ever went on a writer! To literally ask him to stop the car and let me out. It may have just been the way he was talking so very much about himself. In any case, I ignored this impulse, went to the movie, slept with him, and afterward, felt like I might be physically sick.

I make no judgments about what people do sexually by consent, and this was fully consensual, and nothing unusual, except for how I felt afterward. I made a new choice that same day. I was not going to sleep with anyone again until I was in love. Until I was in love. Would she take a cold shower over a snow cone?

Are Men Less Likely to Date Smart Women?

Air conditioner over a swimming pool? How does she beat the heat?

Good Questions to Ask a Girl - Spark great conversations.

Which holiday gets her feeling most festive? When you want to get a good answer from a girl, the best course is to go weird.

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Just pick your favorites and choose a good moment when she seems in the mood to go a little weird. This can be a long and fun conversation as you try to outdo each other on names in either category. Texting is great because you can be a little bolder than you might be IRL. You also have time to come up with the perfect responses to her questions.

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Use these questions to ask girls over text when you want to keep the back-and-forth going. Know how to text a girl. Know when to back off. This is a fun thought exercise that can have some truly hilarious answers. Talking about the future is a great way to form a connection. This is a fun question that gives her the chance to talk about aspects of her personality that you might not get to know about otherwise.

This question helps you to understand what she values more in life — beauty or brains. What words of wisdom does she hold dear? These get to know you questions are perfect for a first date. How a person interacts with their friends and family says a lot about them. This question is direct and to the point. You can spend your entire life with someone and not know all there is to know about them. These questions to ask your girlfriend help the relationship to grow. They also show that you care. This is another question that should be followed with action.

Learn that skill with her. Traveling together is one of the best ways to strengthen a relationship. Try to plan a trip based on her answer. This could be your chance to learn about a new artist. Bonus points if you cook it for her that week. The best way to get to know a girl deep down is by having some personal questions to ask her. After asking this question, challenge her to an arm wrestling match and let her win but put up a fight! Some people are worth it though. I had a relationship end because of this one. Some people have ghost stories or stories of finding unnerving things in the woods.

You can help her de-stress that way. It may be tempting to use these deep questions to ask early, but using them too soon can push her away. Getting to this point takes time and effort. This question really lets you understand what her most precious moments have been. Hopefully you can help to create even better ones.

55 Things To Talk About With Your Crush - Spark a connection!

Does she have a particular experience that helped to shape who she is today? After all, in the grand scheme of things, does anything really matter? This conversation can get existential real fast. Aging is a natural and unavoidable part of life. Discuss the pros and cons.

Wisdom comes with experience and age. It also comes from discussions like this one. Make sure to keep an encouraging attitude with this one. What thought makes her brain explode? How you want to be remembered is a direct reflection of who you want to be now. This question gives her the chance to talk about big moments in her life that might not come up in conversation otherwise.

Has she ever had a supernatural experience? This question can lead to fascinating discussions about that specific experience, as well as the general nature of the world and universe we live in. This question helps you to understand how she became the person she is, as well as the type of person she truly values. Do dreams have meaning? Or are they completely random? What are her predictions for the future of religion? Will they always be prevalent, or will they fade as time goes on? This question helps you to understand her view on religion without asking directly.

Use these questions to connect to connect with your girlfriend on a deeper level. At the same time, you should still use them sparingly. Understanding her insecurities helps you to be a better and more understanding partner. Sometimes you have to put your foot down. Does she regret past leniency? Everyone has their own coping mechanisms for boredom , but what if that boredom lasted 6 months? Is she trying to land the perfect job?

What rule would she instill to make society a better place or at least make her own life more pleasant? How she treats her friends says a great deal about who she is as a person. This question may invite unpleasant feelings, so be careful not to be judgmental. Knowing how to start a conversation with a girl is a valuable skill. Yes, it can be a bit scary. Like any skill, the more you do it, the easier it gets. When in doubt, approach with caution.

Feel out the situation and read her body language. Good things often take time. Trying too hard often reeks of insecurity. There are plenty of girls out there who will like you for exactly who you are, and those are the girls you want in your life. Be confident in yourself. Be aware of your best qualities, and try to minimize your not-so-good ones. Be the best version of yourself. Be proud of who you are. If you want to know how to get to know someone , you need to think from both perspectives — yours and hers.

Before you ask a question, make sure you have an answer in mind for yourself.

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  • Conversations go two ways. These questions get you halfway there. With these questions on hand, you should have no problem getting to know any girl in your life. If you want some more to add to your arsenal, check these out:. Use these questions to ask to start by laying a foundation, and build that house from the ground floor up. These questions give you food for thought, but the most important thing is your personality.

    Girls want genuine guys. Trying too hard can really backfire. Your goal should be to form a legitimate bond. Moonlight has many nights. You may have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your princess. Believe in yourself, and anything is possible. Robin is Mantelligence's expert on dating and relationships, and loves helping men really understand women.