- How to Maintain a Long-Term Relationship with a Strong, Independent Partner - The Good Men Project
- 20 Things You Should Know About Dating An Independent Girl
- 7 Things to Know about Dating an Independent Man
- 2. He will not cheat on you
They may not be accustomed to including others in these activities or in the planning process. Sometimes, SIPs just want to do their own thing. It helps them maintain their strong sense of identity and individuality — the very characteristics that made them attractive to you as a partner. You might request to spend more alone time with them, or be invited to events with friends and family.
Early on in the relationship, this dynamic could innocuously show up in a conversation about what to eat for dinner. Suppressing your own needs to try to please a partner is rarely a successful tactic long-term, and leads to hidden resentments that play out in all sorts of destructive ways. If you continue this pattern, you could find yourself agreeing to help put your partner through graduate school, for example, when what you really want is to take some time off to pursue your art projects. A SIP is strong, but is also vulnerable. SIPs can get their feelings hurt too! As much as SIPs value their independence, they also crave intimacy and connection just like anyone else.
Some SIPs have a hard time opening up to others, and it make take a while or them to trust you enough to let you see their soft spots. Once they do, you should never, ever take advantage of this weakness, or you will lose their trust forever. For example, a SIP might confess that she is afraid of turning into her mother, who used to nag everyone in the family constantly. If you ever use the n-word nagging with her, be prepared for a fight! In the third article in his series, Mark makes an excellent point: You can choose whether to be repeatedly hurt or angered by these flaws, or to help your partner mitigate the weaknesses that might be holding the relationship back.
If your partner is always late, you could be justifiably annoyed every single time, but where would that get you? Then arrive with five minutes to spare for a drink! Actually, they love that — as long as you do it with respect and love, and to seek understanding.
How to Maintain a Long-Term Relationship with a Strong, Independent Partner - The Good Men Project
For example, if your SIP is complaining about having too much to do at work, you could say: You asked for that promotion, and you got it. Be careful what you wish for. And then you got that promotion. Is it not working out like you hoped? If your partner is insensitive or disrespectful, you must point this out immediately and ask for the behavior to stop.
SIPs set boundaries like this for themselves all the time, and they expect you to do so, too.
20 Things You Should Know About Dating An Independent Girl
SIPs really are awesome to date. But keep this to yourself. SIPs are realistic about their strengths, as well as their weaknesses. SIPs have a tough enough time living up to their own high standards without having to live up to some idealized image others attribute to them. And nothing is a bigger turn-off for a SIP than low self-esteem. You also need to be able to:. What these relationship skills have in common is that both partners are accountable for practicing them. If you can do these things, you will not only be able to successfully maintain a relationship with a strong, independent person, but you will also be the SIP your partner is looking for, too.
Rachel Berger doesn't have her own blog, but she likes to read the internet and sometimes joins the conversation. She works at a major software company, but dreams of being an independent consultant. She used to be married, but isn't anymore.
She loves food, but right now she's probably doing one of those stupid detox diets that never work anyway. She got this new Twitter thingy just so you could say hi rachelberger This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed. I m dating an asian with a strong view of interdependance in a relationship.
So to find an happy medium, we have to work hard. I learned to respond to his needs of deep connection. He learned to respect my need of me time n even identify that he need some alone time too. Dating people from other culture, one can see the variety of relationship. As his partner in crime, you are the one he looks to for emotional support, even though he may never say it aloud.
So, if he seems down, or stressed, or worn out, be there for him. Over time, he will learn to temper that hard exterior with some more expressive displays of emotion. An independent man often shows his love and affection by providing for a woman. You might be an independent woman yourself, but if you want to make things last, you need to let him treat you every now and then. He works hard so that he can create a good life for himself and those he loves.
Once you are in his circle, expect to have your material needs met.
7 Things to Know about Dating an Independent Man
Remember, this is not a form of manipulation. It is an expression of love, passion and care. Independent men are portrayed as self-made. This is true to some extent, as they work hard to achieve success. But do not take his origin story at face value. An independent man is uniquely driven because he is from a unique family system. Maybe he had a lazy dad.
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Or, alternatively, maybe his dad demanded too much from him. Maybe his family struggled, and he wanted to rewrite a legacy of the financial burden. Whatever his story might be, you should find out before you get too close, because you are going to get pulled into it. Sure, independence is great, but you have to know where it is coming from.
2. He will not cheat on you
He is very selective. An independent man has big dreams. He aspires to be a king in this world, and he is looking for his queen.
If he seems aloof in the beginning, it is because he is testing you. He wants to know if you have what it takes to be with a man who has priorities in life. He wants to know if you can handle his bold ambition.
Most importantly, he wants to know if you will stay with him through thick and thin. An independent man is used to roughing it, and he wants to know you will stick around in the bad times and the good ones. He wants to know if he can trust you with the keys to his castle when it is finally built. He usually knows how to stand up for himself and how to get things done.
He has likely worked hard for his position in life, and he will likely continue to work towards advancement throughout his adult years. An independent man seeks recognition of his maturity in the woman he chooses.