- Brahs.... Dating promiscuous girls?
- Does Her Sexual Past Bother You? - AskMen
- Does Her Sexual Past Bother You?
My girlfriend's sexual history bothers me a lot, what should I do? Let's be honest though, if you had the chance to give a whole bunch of girls oral sex for a few years, would you have done it or not? And would it be fair for her to judge you for it? You have to remember that people are a sum of their experiences.
If you love her and you care for her, then the person you love is her, past and all.
Brahs.... Dating promiscuous girls?
If it weren't for her past, she may not be the person you love today. Her past bothers you and for good reason.
It is what it is. At the surface she does seem really, really cool though so it might be tough to let go but clearly this bothers you and it will always bother you. I also don't like how she's being all pushy for a relationship either. Clearly she's in a rush to get settled then, right? If you genuinely like this girl, don't waste her time keeping it light any longer with the insinuations that you want something serious. Just let her go. Idk I guess some of you on this forum are super lucky to be finding people you actually connect with often enough to be able to emotionally afford letting a person go over such trivial matters.
I'm lucky if I meet a guy I'm more than lukewarm about in a year and thats also considering I'm very much a people person. I respect it though. If thats you and you can't get over it, let her go and let her live her life. Hopefully she can find someone who also cares about her so much so that these kind of thoughts you're dealing with are not impeding his desire to be with her.
She sounds nice so I can only assume she deserves that, don't you?
Personally I believe everyone has a right to live their life the way they want and so one of my biggest hangups is how someone will impose their stuff on another persons life by leading them on with no real intentions to go the distance with that person. While you're on the misc hashing this out, there's a girl who truly cares about you and is getting more and more attached.
That you're wrestling with it this much isn't a good sign. Wrote this out because in general you seem like a pretty ok guy OP. Last edited by tresjjjolie; at Originally Posted by Shoot4hoops. OP the fact that she's pressuring for a relationship is questionable in itself. If she's sketchy then keep her at fwb.
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Originally Posted by tresjjjolie. OP stated they've been dating for a while now. What is wrong with wanting a relationship to evolve into something exclusive and substantial?
Does Her Sexual Past Bother You? - AskMen
Also it seems OP has been able to pace this well enough for his comfort level. Originally Posted by meatcigarette. You don't pressure your spouse into a relationship, you're open-minded about it and figure out in an optimistic manner why it's not happening yet. You can never go too slowly into a relationship If you don't think you're going to wife her eventually You're wasting eachother's time in the long run.
Does Her Sexual Past Bother You?
Last edited by Alphaveli; at I agree and I get that. But define "pressure" in this instance. Perhaps OP should share that part with us. I could be wrong since I don't know OP's story but from what I'm seeing, I don't think expressing that you want to take a relationship up to the next step is pressuring someone. Also with all the positive attributes he expressed about this girl, and seeing that he is very mindful, and observes carefully, I willing to bet his behavior with her would lead any reasonable person to think whatever they have is going somewhere.
I definitely am not an advocate of rushing however I hardly think OP is acting in a way for her to think anything other than what most girls would think "We're taking it slow". When I say "what the hell" to FWB, it is to ask why pigeonhole someone you think well of into the same kind of relationship you would someone you don't think highly of? What do you do?
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However, your concerns do come from a valid place, so I want to address them in more detail. As I see it, there are sort of two different questions here. How can I stop picturing her having sex with other dudes? Essentially, what do I do with my jealousy? You have a right to your feelings, and these ones are pretty common. Very few people enjoy picturing their partner writhing in ecstasy beneath some unremarkable douchebag. I get it, I really do. Like, picture meeting the love of your life, the first person who really made you excited about being a person — and then imagine how you would feel if she dumped you after finding out you had a threesome with two strangers at a trashy party one time.
It would be totally unreasonable. You would be totally fine with doing any number of things with your dick to any number of different people. This is normal, and human, but also stupid, and irrational.